Quotes by Satirists - Page 2

Let him who has enough wish for nothing more.
Horace
Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To put one's trust in God is only a longer way of saying that one will chance it.
Samuel Butler
Torn clothes are funny … until your dad gets fired.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There is more to life than making a living. Do not work more than you live.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
When your neighbor's house is afire your own property is at stake.
Horace
For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Marriage and dating are man-made ideologies; if having a lover was a prerequisite to living, we’d all be born in pairs; as couples.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To err is human to forgive divine.
Alexander Pope
The ruling passion be it what it will The ruling passion conquers reason still.
Alexander Pope
Freedom of speech is unnecessary if the people to whom it is granted do not think for themselves.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life punishes those who have things in abundance by making them worry about petty things like: what to wear, or, which car to drive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A specialist’s mind is a slave to his specialization.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We have truth in order not to die of art.
Steve Aylett
A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong which is but saying ... that he is wiser today than yesterday.
Jonathan Swift
A 'good man' is a male creature that survives the endless episodes that its woman spends complaining about women who she hates, and, women who hate her.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
All philosophies if you ride them home are nonsense but some are greater nonsense than others.
Samuel Butler
Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Choose a subject equal to your abilities think carefully what your shoulders may refuse and what they are capable of bearing.
Horace
Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost.
Ambrose Bierce
Leftovers are less tasty if they were left over by someone else, unless you are poor.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie for an excuse is a lie guarded.
Alexander Pope
When you decide to meet—in person—someone that you met online, would you then be taking your relationship to the 'previous' level?
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The streets are a poor kid’s PlayStation™
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I don’t think this kind of thing [satire] has an impact on the unconverted, frankly. It’s not even preaching to the converted; it’s titillating the converted. I think the people who say we need satire often mean, ‘We need satire of them, not of us.’ I’m fond of quoting Peter Cook, who talked about the satirical Berlin cabarets of the ’30s, which did so much to stop the rise of Hitler and prevent the Second World War.
Tom Lehrer
If employment really cared about employees, people wouldn’t have to work until retirement comes to their rescue.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce
Homophobia is the ignorant and arrogant assumption that copulation and reproduction is all there is to a relationship.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A job interview is a competition won by those who are qualified the most, and, those who are willing to be payed the least.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A man cannot really be called (sexually) confident if he has never bought his woman a vibrator.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The middle class were invented to give the poor hope; the poor, to make the rich feel special; the rich, to humble the middle class.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A paparazzi is merely an extremely nosy nobody with a camera—and bills to pay.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A little learning is a dangerous thing.Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian Spring;There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,and drinking largely sobers us again.
Alexander Pope
Marriage, n.: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce
Light quirks of music broken and uneven make the soul dance upon a jig of heaven.
Alexander Pope
It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life—if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality.
Charlie Brooker
Time limps when you are not having fun.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The world forgetting by the world forgot.
Alexander Pope
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object of dread and loathing to the fool writer, but if it is a good word and has no exact modern equivalent equally good, it is good enough for the good writer. Indeed, a writer's attitude toward "obsolete" words is as true a measure of his literary ability as anything except the character of his work. A dictionary of obsolete and obsolescent words would not only be singularly rich in strong and sweet parts of speech; it would add large possessions to the vocabulary of every competent writer who might not happen to be a competent reader.
Ambrose Bierce
A man’s bank balance is the new penis size.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
His act was rather that of a harmless lunatic than an enemy. We were not so new to the country as not to know that the solitary life of many a plainsman had a tendency to develop eccentricities of conduct and character not always easily distinguishable from mental aberration. A man is like a tree: in a forest of his fellows he will grow as straight as his generic and individual nature permits; alone, in the open, he yields to the deforming stresses and tortions that environ him.
Ambrose Bierce
To wake the soul by tender strokes of art,To raise the genius, and to mend the heart
Alexander Pope
We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Women who do not play hard to get are hard to get.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Thus education forms the common mind Just as the twig is bent the tree's inclined.
Alexander Pope
The bookful blockhead ignorantly read With loads of learned lumber in his head.
Alexander Pope
To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves.
Alexander Pope
I teach that all men are mad.
Horace
Closing one’s eyes when praying doesn’t increase the odds of the prayer being answered. It merely decreases the odds of being distracted.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age he had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
Pain, unless it is physical, was sold to you (by your culture).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you but he will make a fool of himself too.
Samuel Butler
To put an arrogant 'famous' writer in his place: pretend to be illiterate.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana