Wit Quotes - Page 6

Memories make you sentimental, experiences make you smart.

Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems.

For a poet he threw a very accurate milk bottle.

No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.

They seek him here. They seek him there. Those Frenchies seek him everywhere. Is he in Heaven? Or is he in Hell? That damned, illusive pimpernel.

He listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as his composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.

When she walked by the two officers, they didn't recognize her. "Have you seen the luscious bonbon with the golden braids?" She grinned up at them with such impish mischief that they almost forgot their quest for the singer. "She is with her lover," Hannah said. "But she can always handle one or two more." She winked at them. "Go there, through that door." She made her escape while the uniformed hobbledehoys gawked and gaped and finally burst into the dressing room where Franz, the three-hundred-pound juggling strongman, was adjusting his loincloth. "I ought not do it," Hannah said aloud to herself as chaos erupted behind her. "I just can't seem to help myself. it is a shame, really.

Charisma is the ability to influence without logic.

The door was flung open. Maurice Duplay filled it; energetic master, shirt- sleeves rolled up. He threw out his arms, the good Jacobin Duplay, and formed a sentence totally original, something which had never been uttered in the history of the world: “Camille, you have a son, and your wife is very well, and is asking you to be at home, right now.

His foe was folly and his weapon wit.

Am I afraid of ghosts? My life experience has taught me to be much more afraid of what a human is capable of in broad daylight than what a ghost is capable of at night.

Listen to me. Forget all you saw. Leave it. Take your mind from it. It has nothing to do with you. But use it for experience. Now you know what hurt it brings to women when men come into the world. Remember, and make it up to your Mama and to all women...And another thing let it do. There is no room for pride in any man. There is no room for unkindness. There is not room for wit at the expense of others. All men are born the same, and equal. As you saw today, so come Captains and the Kings and the Tinkers and the Tailors. Let the memory direct your dealings with men and women. And be sure to take good care of Mama. Is it?

A witty saying proves nothing.

I was going to write a sharp witty email full of devastating one-liners but I suspect you want something nicer than that

There is not a man of common sense who would not chuse to be agreeable in company; and yet, strange as it may seem, very few are

Remember, crowd doesn't care about common sense.

The important thing to remember is not to forget

She would walk through the kitchen at any hour, whenever she was hungry, and put her fork in the pots and eat a little of everything without placing anything on a plate, standing in front of the stove, talking to the serving women, who were the only ones with whom she felt comfortable, the ones she got along with best.

Caro: "Bite me."Ruby: "I gave that up in kindergarten.

After dinner, at five o’clock, the crew distributed folding canvas cots to the passengers, and each person opened his bed wherever he could find room, arranged it with the bedclothes from his petate, and set the mosquito netting over that. Those with hammocks hung them in the salon, and those who had nothing slept on the tablecloths that were not changed more than twice during the trip.

I moved out of my head office and went out of my mind.

If it's me against 48 I feel sorry for the 48.

When I'm in love, I can't stand anyone.

Never speak unless you can improve upon the stupidness of people's silence.

Father has a strengthening character like the sun and mother has a soothing temper like the moon.

This was a lucky recollection -- it saved her from something like regret.

You're maybe eighteen. Your mother didn't love you enough so you decided to pierce your lip and brand your body to piss her off. You hang around this band because they make you feel like you belong. And most days you wish you were in a band of your own, but you know that probably will never happen." I met his eyes waiting.I'm twenty. my mother has an assload of tattoos herself, she thinks its art. I have a lip ring because it turns girls on when I do this." He licked his lip, lingering on the metal for a couple intense seconds. My eyes fluttered with nervousness.

Erm…I don’t know maybe for kissing me and tasting so damn delicious, maybe for holding my hand in public, maybe for looking far too hot in that sexy, snug tee when you should just be looking like Jo’s little brother. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I chose the much more sophisticated reaction of scowling, hard. I would have kicked him again, but I was convinced he’d moved his legs out of the way. Coward.” ~ Ella, A Perfect Moment

In my dictionary, romance is not maudlin, treacly sentiment. It is a curry, spiced with excitement, and humour, and a healthy dollop of cynicism.

I have great affection for you, Roy" I answered, "but I don't think you are the sort of person I'd care to have breakfast with.

Politeness is the first thing people lose once they get the power.

Sometimes you can't agree with people because you would both be wrong.

At their wits' end.

I'm very fond of experimental housekeeping.

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

To be human is to seek beauty, Shallan. Do not despair, do not end the hunt because thorns grow in your way.

True wit is nature to advantage dressed;What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.

Growing age can kill the beauty, not the style.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

I'm eating a massive pastrami sandwich. It's so beautiful I might cry. Just so you know.

What you did tonight was clever,” Wit said. “You turned an attack into a promise. The wisest of men know that to render an insult powerless, you often need only to embrace it.

Men are not nearly as evolved as women are, nor as intelligent, evidently

Anger gets you into trouble, ego keeps you in trouble.

Does the king know you're back?""Nope! I'm trying to think of a properly dramatic way to inform him. Perhaps a hundred chasmfiends marching in unison, singing an ode to my magnificence.""That sounds… hard.""Yeah, the storming things have real trouble tuning their tonic chords and maintaining just intonation.""I have no idea what you just said.""Yeah, the storming things have real trouble tuning their tonic chords and maintaining just intonation.

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.

When men have come to the edge of a precipice, it is the lover of life who has the spirit to leap backwards, and only the pessimist who continues to believe in progress.

Arrogant men with knowledge make more noise from their mouth than making a sense from their mind.

I should think a dead language would be rather boring, sociallyspeaking.

One can have a wit, but not a witless

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

I follow my own methods, and tell as much or as little as I choose. That is the advantage of being unofficial.

True wit is Nature to advantage dress'd What oft was thought but ne'er so well express'd.

If you laid every economist in the country end to end you would still not reach a conclusion.

we are bound to make mistakes. We are bound to meet mistakes. We have regretted certain decisions we took yesterday today and we may regret some decisions of today tomorrow but not until we regret the regrets, we shall always have the regrets

Frederick's wit was impressive. When a descendant of Ghengis Khan, who was wreaking havoc in the Muslim world, wrote threateningly that the holy Roman Emperor should surrender his lands and come to his court to become one of his vassals, Frederick replied that he'd think about it and to please hold open the position of falconer.

Richard looked up to find a thirty-ish, tall, black haired man sauntering towards him with a smile that said “You can trust me”, but really meant “Don’t believe a word I say”. This was Jack, and he hadn’t changed a bit.

I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.

And for God's sake, if you need to shoot make sure to release the safety ,” he murmured, as we moved across the front, careful to stick to the shadows as often as we could. So far, I hadn't seen anyone, not even zombies. It wasn't uncommon for a straggler to come along, every now and then. Lucky for us, we were remote enough that we hadn't had any major issues with any hordes locating us. The men were quick to dispatch any zombies that hung around, not willing to take the risk that somehow they could communicate with each other. Not to mention, the zombies were strong and fast. It was better to end them, rather than to risk them one day killing one of us.

A fool is a man who believes glory can be found at the tip of a sword instead of on the tip of his tongue. That is life’s cruel trick.