Wit Quotes - Page 3

One says the things which one feels the need to say, and which the other will not understand: one speaks for oneself alone.

Have a selective optimistic sight, transform the bitch glitch "in stitches.

A bunch of bad songs, make an awful whine.

She was widely read enough to appreciate my literary wit but not so widely read that she knew my sources. I like that in a woman.

I decided to do the easy task of changing situations and conditions by being a hero, than staying back to do the difficult task of changing people by being just a man.

Captain Billings," he drawled finally, "if you will pardon my candor, I might remark that you are something of an ass, don't you know.

Snark is a fabulous defense mechanism.

A farmer is a magician who produces money from the mud.

Being born in a stable does not make one a horse.

Are you all right?''How do I look?''Um… You have raven hair, brown eyes and bronzed skin if you didn’t know, and you’re… human.

So you're a Shadowhunter,' Nate said. 'De Quincey told me that you lot were monsters.''Was that before or after he tried to eat you?' Will inquired.

You judge very properly, and it is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are the result of previous study?

Here comes Mamma Vauquerr, fair as a starrr; and strung up like a bunch of carrots. Aren't we suffocating ourselves a wee bit?' he asked, placing a hand on the top of her corset. 'A bit of a crush in the vestibule, here, Mamma! If we start crying, there'll be an explosion. Never mind, I'll be there to collect the bits--just like an antiquary.''Now, there's the language of true French gallantry,' murmured Madame Vauquer in an aside to Madame Couture.

Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere.

Ack!" I said.Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

Psychology is more concerned with identifying the degree of mental disorder and less with its cure!

There is no greater hiding place for a secret than within the mind of a madman.

The bristling eyebrows shot up in mock surprise. Mesmerized, the boy watched them disappear under the hanging thatch of white hair. There, almost coyly, they remained just out of sight for a moment, before suddenly descending with a terrible finality and weight.

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Sometimes being given the elbow can turn out to be the best hand.

I leaned against the desk, ran my hand over my father’s paperwork, and picked up a pen. Turning around, I shoved it into my father’s hand. "What’s this?" he asked, raising a brow. "You’ll need it to sign my death certificate," I said, pain vibrating my veins against my muscles and bones. "Are we done now?” (Eric)

Today it is cheaper to start a business than tomorrow.

The job of feets is walking, but their hobby is dancing.

you ask too many questions," snapped Cletus.I kept my gaze on Roman. "that's because I get too few answers.

I wish for you the wisdom to mind your own business.

Networking isn't how many people you know, it's how many people know you.

Lingerer, my brain is on fire with impatience; and you tarry so long!

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

A man often runs the risk of throwing away a witticism if he admits that it is his own.

With a bit of luck and a lot of hard work, this writing thing may just pan out.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Great wits jump

Irrevocable as a haircut.

This lot won't suffer you forever.I wouldn't see you dead by their knives; I see a fine man within you Wit.""Yes, He tasted quite delicious.

Happy hour?" Jason says. "It's barely noon, Grams""Oh, shush, you. You'll have some, yes?'"Well"-he smiles slyly and wiggles his eyebrows-"if you insist". Every time, it's the same thing. Leaning in, he rubs his hands together expectantly. The drinking age in New York State was raised last year, so technically, I suppose, this is still illegal for my grandson. But the Jews didn't spend forty years wandering the desert so that I could forfeit a gin and tonic with my progeny...

I love the wheels, I mean steering wheel.

When I was young, I used to watch a lot of old movies and read a lot of books, and I was always amazed at how every one of them had some helpless damsel who was oh so happy to fall into the hero’s arms, and I’m not that kind of girl"- Yvonne

My wit is only as stupid as the audience.

Always remember that you can explain things for people, but you can't comphrend for them.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

Jordan, there isn't a straight woman or gay man alive who wouldn't drop everything to have dinner with you. I've been in this business for all of my life, and I know the difference between people who pretend to like you to get ahead, and people who are actually interested in getting to know you. Patrick wants to get to know you. Preferably naked, but that’s up to you.” “I can’t wait until you’re old enough to be senile and start saying these things in public.” “I’m very lucky to have such a loving son.

Cardinal Campeggio has implored Katherine to bow to the king's will, accept that her marriage is invalid and retire to a convent. Certainly, she says sweetly, she will become a nun: if the king will become a monk.

Respect cannot be inherited, respect is the result of right actions.

Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things which differ and the difference of things which are alike.

Cheap editions of great books may be delightful, but cheap editions of great men are absolutely detestable

A good lover? One percent talent and ninety nine percent hard work.

If you want to be witty work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

That's what you think of me, is it, girl?" said his lordship, a glint in his

Man has been bestowed with all the senses, Alas! What a drama, we are yet to know the art of using it!

Reason leavened with a little wit (if possible) is the real alternative to hate speech, meaning that there's no better time for it.

Your wit never ceases to underwhelm me.

Among all the machines, motorcar is my favorite machine.

Now what happens?" asked the man in black. "We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone.""You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?

If thinking should precede acting, then acting must succeed thinking.

Gankis lifted an arm to point at the distant shale cliffs. "And in the face of it there were thousands of little holes, little what-you-call-'ems...""Alcoves," Kennit supplied in an almost dreamy voice. "I call them alcoves, Gankis. As would you, if you could speak your own mother tongue.

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle.

He lies down next to me.He says, 'You know - you have a face to die for/''Well, don't die,' I say, "we just met.