Okay.’ I can feel the letters vomit off my tongue.O.K.A. Y.I watch the vet insert the syringe into the catheter and inject the second drug. And then the adventures come flooding back:The puppy farm.The gentle untying of the shoelace.THIS! IS! MY! HOME! NOW!Our first night together.Running on the beach.Sadie and Sophie and Sophie Dee.Shared ice-cream cones.Thanksgivings.Tofurky.Car rides.Laughter.Eye rain.Chicken and rice.Paralysis.Surgery.Christmases.Walks.Dog parks.Squirrel chasing.Naps.Snuggling.’Fishful Thinking.’The adventure at sea.Gentle kisses.Manic kisses.More eye rain.So much eye rain.Red ball.The veterinarian holds a stethoscope up to Lily’s chest, listening for her heartbeat.All dogs go to heaven.’Your mother’s name is Witchie-Poo.’ I stroke Lily behind her ears the way that used to calm her. ‘Look for her.’OH FUCK IT HURTS.I barely whisper. ‘She will take care of you.

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