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Image of the quote is loading... SaveSave The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang “The Star-Spangled Banner.”

Elmer Pasta
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He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.
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You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.
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She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.
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Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.
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Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.
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For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.
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He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.
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She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!
Elmer Pasta
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