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Pretty average headlines for a worldwide catastrophe,” Jane remarked as she read from Hollywood’s Highest. “Some man in Africa claimed to have found the cure for AIDS, yet another politician said something about the president and now formally regrets it, and a pop star OD’d while an actress lost fifteen pounds overnight, and here’s how you can, too!” She continued reading. “Oh, wow. The ‘Celebrititties’ section says she was in a car accident and her arms had to be amputated. Damn.