Dorothy Parker Quotes - Page 2

Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw -- I don't say she will but she can.

There was never a place for her in the ranks of the terrible slow army of the cautious. She ran ahead where there were no paths.

Lips that taste of tears they say are the best for kissing.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.

In youth, it was a way I had,To do my best to please.And change, with every passing ladTo suit his theories.But now I know the things I knowAnd do the things I do,And if you do not like me so,To hell, my love, with you.

He'll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt him like hell.He doesn't wish that about me. I don't think he even knows how he makes me feel. I wish he could know, without my telling him. They don't like you to tell them they've made you cry. They don't like you to tell them you're unhappy because of them. If you do, they think you're possessive and exacting. And then they hate you. They hate you whenever you say anything you really think. You always have to keep playing little games. Oh, I thought we didn't have to; I thought this was so big I could say whatever I meant. I guess you can't, ever. I guess there isn't ever anything big enough for that.

I don't know much about being a millionaire but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

I like to have a martini,Two at the very most.After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.

Where's the man could ease the heart Like a satin gown?

My love runs by like a day in June, And he makes no friends of sorrows. He'll tread his galloping rigadoon In the pathway of the morrows. He'll live his days where the sunbeams start, Nor could storm or wind uproot him. My own dear love, he is all my heart, -- And I wish somebody'd shoot him.

Eternity is a ham and two people” (also given as “Eternity is two people and a ham") is an old quip from the days when a ham was huge—far more than two people could finish. Irma Rombauer mentions this line in her famous cookbook, The Joy of Cooking.

And if my heart be scarred and burned,The safer, I, for all I learned.

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.

One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.

Be you wise and never sad,You will get your lovely lad.Never serious be, nor true,And your wish will come to you--And if that makes you happy, kid,You'll be the first it ever did.

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.

I don't know," she said. "We used to squabble a lot when we were going together and then engaged and everything, but I thought everything would be so different as soon as you were married. And now I feel so sort of strange and everything. I feel so sort of alone.

I shall stay the way I am Because I do not give a damn.

Scratch a lover and find a foe.

Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.

ur be the things I am wiser to know:Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.Four be the things I'd been better without:Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt.Three be the things I shall never attain:Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.Three be the things I shall have till I die:Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.

I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.

I never see that prettiest thing-A cherry bough gone white with Spring-But what I think, "How gay 'twould beTo hang me from a flowering tree.

Hold your pen and spare your voice.