Wit Quotes - Page 5

Frame everything and some of it will become art.

Spanish—how shall I say this?—is likePortuguese spoken with a speech impediment.

The earth is an arena of champions. We are all champions. We all did overcome millions of potential human beings’ before making it unto the earth. Our spectators watching our race of life are the Seen and the Unseen. Thought, attitude and choice are what bring the differences in the arena of mother earth. The real champions in this life are they that will run the race of life facing the storms, overcoming the hurdles, unraveling the puzzles of life, questioning the status quo in wit, over ruling environmental mediocrity and daring for great and indelible change out of comfort or discomfort.

It's an easy guess, why some get famous over night and not during the day.

Victory in war is usually the result of compromising what you want and behaving like those you despise." - Tapio

Does drinking make you wittier? One might as well ask if witting makes you drinkier, which it may.

I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman.

The difference ‘twixt poet and coxcomb is precisely that the latter stops gaps like a ship fitter caulking seams, merely to keep the boat afloat, while the former doth his work as doth a man with a maid: he fills the gap, but with vigor, finesse, and care; there’s beauty and delight as well as utility in his plugging

Her face collapsed like a bad poem

Art is art. You can take it or leave it. Liking it or not liking it does not make you a better person, and who you like or dislike results in the same thing.

[Obituary of atheist philosopher Richard Robinson]An Atheist's Values is one of the best short accounts of liberalism (a term Robinson accepted) and humanism (a term he ignored) produced during the present century, all the more powerful for its lucidity and moderation, its wit and wisdom. It may now seem old-fashioned, but during those confused alarms of struggle and fight between the ignorant armies of left and right, thousands of readers must have taken inspiration from Richard Robinson's rational defence of rationalism.It is a pity that it is now out of print, when there is still so much nonsense and so little sense in the world.

If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time.

I suppose we all tend to want the impossible. And sometimes in attempting it we achieve something near enough to the impossible to elicit satisfaction.

What is whiter than snow?' he said. 'The truth,' said Grania.'What is the best colour?' said Finn. 'The colour of childhood,' said she.'What is hotter than fire?' 'The face of a hospitable man when he sees a stranger coming in, and the house empty.''What has a taste more bitter than poison?' 'The reproach of an enemy.''What is best for a champion?' 'His doings to be high, and his pride to be low.''What is the best of jewels?' 'A knife.''What is sharper than a sword?' 'The wit of a woman between two men.''What is quicker than the wind?' said Finn then. 'A woman’s mind,' said Grania. And indeed she was telling no lie when she said that.

When I appear in public people expect me to neigh grind my teeth paw the ground and swish my tail - none of which is easy.

Ever since I discovered that my god given male member was going to give me no peace, I decided to give it no rest in return.

Jack shall have Jill.Nought shall go ill.

Black Mage: I was joking.Red Mage: OH. See, I was confused by the total lack of comedy.

If the camel once gets his nose in a tent his body will soon follow.

Have you ever noticed how good things go to those who hate?

The covers of this book are too far apart.

Any woman who is sure of her own wits, is a match, at any time, for a man who is not sure of his own temper.

Look, this is helping me out quite a bit, but could you just get to the punishment part? We're at the end of World War Two in history, and I can't wait to find out who wins.

He felt that such a life in which one could display such sarcasm and wit was after all to a certain degree worth living.

if you can’t acquaint an opponent with reason, you must acquaint his head with the sidewalk.

Jason smiled and took a sip of his coke before responding. “I’m not sure how to reply to that. I thought about just giving you a nasty look. But I see you already have one.

To have a viable civilization, people have to have a benign government, a semblance of education, spare time, imagination, and manners

State first, subject second, statesman last.

Lady Placida smiled. “History seldom takes note of serendipity when it records events. And from what I have heard, I suspect an argument could be made that you very much did earn the title.”“Many women have earned titles, Your Grace. It doesn't seem to have been a factor in whether or not they actually received them.”Lady Placida laughed. “True enough. But perhaps that is beginning to change.” She offered her hands. “It is a distinct pleasure to meet you, Steadholder.

When you have wit of your own, it's a pleasure to credit other people for theirs.

terrorism n.Violence for political purposes or the politically motivated threat of violence which, either intentionally or unintentionally, challenges the state's monopoly on political violence.

Belief in form but disbelief in content - that's what makes an aphorism charming.

Being a Gentleman, has more to do with hiding his flaws, than exhibiting the virtues!

Never rely upon a time machine to fix your problems, as everyone knows, they're much too faulty.

The well of true wit is truth itself.

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses.

...it is indeed a street of so impertinent a nature, so unfortunately connected with the great London and Oxford roads, and the principal inn of the city, that a day never passes in which parties of ladies, however important their business, whether in quest of pastry, millinery, or even (as in the present case) of young men, are not detained on one side or other by carriages, horsemen, or carts. This evil had been felt and lamented, at least three times a day, by Isabella since her residence in Bath...

What is perfectly true is perfectly witty.

I wonder now how we got by when you weren't here.""I have no doubt the devastation was widespread, the suffering universal.""Indeed, it was the Dark Ages in the annals of Mrs. Dawlish's house. Ignorance was thick on the ground, and unenlkghtenment befogged all the windows.

He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it.

We sensible often resist intrusive love and its chaos practically, employing measures to prevent the former for fear of the latter. But for all our wit and work, that desperation for control also prevents the pure, transcendental freedom more often delivered by both.

In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.

I am a master of foolhardy plans.

A true leader leads for the sake of love and his knowledge of the path, a bad leader redirects his followers to the path of destruction.

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned.

Oh, well, that's not bad, I suppose. I mean, I'd prefer devastatingly sophisticated - but almost endearing is more than I could have hoped for under the circumstances.

I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.", 1657)

My doctor says I must not have any serious conversation after seven [o'clock]. It makes me talk in my sleep.

How do you feel about going on a date with me? I'm abroad for another two weeks; you've got plenty of time to prepare yourself. It will be the best night of your life, of course.

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship—he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn.

The wittiest authors raise the very slightest of smiles.

With discipline, you can lose weight, you can excel in work, you can win the war.

Words never fail. We hear them, we read them; they enter into the mind and become part of us for as long as we shall live. Who speaks reason to his fellowmen bestows it upon them. Who mouths inanity disorders thought for all who listen. There must be some minimum allowable dose of inanity beyond which the mind cannot remain reasonable. Irrationality, like buried chemical waste, sooner or later must seep into all the tissues of thought.

Enough about my beauty," Buttercup said. "Everybody always talks about how beautiful I am. I've got a mind, Westley. Talk about that.

The poet is a faker / Who's so good at his act / He even fakes the pain / Of pain he feels in fact.

Deep down, he's shallow.

Fail soon so that you can succeed sooner.