Susanspeaks Com Quotes - Page 5

As you navigate the various zones with people, a variety of specific physical and psychological responses are elicited from them. Until you know someone, avoid invading his or her personal space. Getting closer gradually demonstrates that you like the other person. This gradual and comfortable approach begins the circle of rapport—he sees that you like him, he likes that you like him, and he reciprocates by liking you back.

When my son Nick was five years old, he was sitting at the kitchen bar while I prepared dinner. In typical busy mother fashion, I was multitasking—cooking, cleaning, running the laundry, answering the phone, and attempting to listen to what he had to say.

Palm Reading 101•tPalm Up— Conveys openness, service, humility, and sympathy.•tPalm Down—Demonstrates authority, superiority, and control.•tPalm Vertical—Shows you are meeting on equal terms with a mutually respectful greeting.•tPalm Wet, Cold, or Clammy—Ick! The "dead fish" is creepy. Make your hands warm and dry before reaching out to touch someone, please! It can also be conveyed as being nervous or over-excited.•tPalm Perfect—This is my favorite. Better known as the "hand hug." While you are shaking hands with your right hand, place your left hand on top, wrapping both people in warmth and trust. This two-handed shake illustrates affection, caring, or concern, especially when you then reach up to grasp their arm or shoulder.

Smiling is one of your most powerful non-verbal behaviors. People do read a book by its cover and these expressions provide glimpses into what they will find inside.

And as is often the case, the people who would benefit the most from reading a book like this are the ones least likely to buy and read it. For you, however, this chapter will serve as a sterling reminder to make your manners shine.

Life rewards action. To get from where you are now to where you want to be requires forward movement and momentum. Although you may already know what it takes to bridge the gap, simply knowing what to do is not enough.

A smart way of using your hands to make you look more interesting, thoughtful, and self-assured is to steeple your hands and fingers. Try using it strategically in formal environments or workplaces to show confidence and consideration.

Your heightened awareness of their perceptions, experiences, emotions, and personality styles can reveal why they feel the way they do so that you can choose your responses wisely and compassionately.

Whether your awareness is focused on your own emotions and perceptions or directed toward the preferences, needs, and feelings of others, being mindful (aware and attentive) will enable you to respond more appropriately.

Through the years, I have heard that the average person speaks at about 150-160 words per minute, but can listen at a rate of about 1,000 words per minute. What is going on during all that extra mind time? •tOur minds are racing ahead and preparing for the next thing we are going to say.•tWe are preoccupied with other thoughts, priorities, and distractions.•tOur subconscious filters are thumbing through our database of memories, judgments, experiences, perspectives, and opinions to frame how we are going to interpret what we think someone is saying.

It is unimpressive to not hold a door open for the next person coming through. After a satisfying workout at my gym, I was walking behind a man who was exiting at the same time. He was only about two feet in front of me. As he walked through the door, he let it close behind him, almost hitting me in the face. Was he being intentionally rude? Was he preoccupied and focused on other things? No matter whether an offender is being a jerk intentionally, or is simply oblivious to how his behavior is affecting others, rude behavior instantly makes a negative impression. Be aware!

In his book, Networking is a Contact Sport, Joe Sweeney advises that when you attend networking events, act as if it is your party and you are the host or hostess. By doing this, you will help others be at ease and demonstrate a heart of service and generosity.

Being grounded in your lifelong culture and your personal perspective, you are comfortable with the way you see things and may believe it is the best and only way.

The first step in getting unstuck and moving forward is to examine what is holding you back from taking action. The power is yours to set your intention and take the action needed to create the life you desire. You are in control of your initiative—be proactive.

I am a very lucky lady that my life partner, Daniel, is a true-blue Southern gentleman. Watching him in action not only earns my love and respect, but it also strengthens his countenance and bolsters his reputation as a man. As a health care provider, he treats numerous patients who are elderly or in pain. Daniel has made it a customary ritual while people are in his care to help them with their coats, provide a stabilizing arm, carry the ladies’ purses, and even walk patients out to their cars. While this kindness provides extraordinary customer service, it also demonstrates that small acts of chivalry can make a significant impact on one’s reputation, first impression, and overall human-beingness.

Sometimes it is better to refrain from engaging in conversation because making no impression is better than making a bad impression.

The Art of Communication shares insights to help you communicate with a higher awareness and focused intention and meet people on their level to increase clarity and understanding.

Look at the single words below; wear these emotions on your face for just a moment. Try them on for size and note how they make you feel:Happiness. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Contempt. Surprise. Disgust.These are the basic human emotions which communicate with clear understanding across cultures, languages, and countries. In other words, a smile naturally conveys happiness and a frown naturally conveys sadness, no matter where you may be using your passport.

As Americans, we typically move full steam ahead without much regard to mindfulness or thoughtful reflection, often to one’s own detriment. Yet it is that same propensity for bold action which makes fulfilling the "American Dream" possible—where an immigrant can come to our country with nothing and achieve extraordinary things.

Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.

Hostess with the Mostest“Think of a time when you have had a party in your home or had friends over for dinner. Didn’t you want to make sure they were nurtured, cared for, and well-taken care of? Didn’t you want your guests to interact with each other and enjoy the experience so they would remember it fondly?

Your life is happening in the NOW, yet the present moment is often squandered by your thinking about what has happened in the past or may happen in the future.

Move beyond yourself to serve a greater purpose and vision. Learn to mix, mingle, and glow, thus helping others feel more comfortable, at ease, important, and connected.

Every time you speak, you are using your voice to connect with others, whether it is in-person, on the phone, or in a recorded message.

Any time you put yourself on the line, you risk (and maybe fear) failing, falling, being embarrassed, or looking stupid—none of which are comfortable.

When you are sitting behind a desk with a person on the other side, there is a barrier between you that becomes a psychological and subliminal message. Some of the best leaders I know have a round table or a circle of chairs in their offices so that when people come in to speak with them, the arrangement lends itself to more engaging interaction. Using a roundtable in which there is no head fosters collaboration, cooperation, mutual respect, and equal positioning.

The next time you have a high-stakes meeting, a presentation, or an important social engagement, practice power posing beforehand to potently and powerfully impact your confidence.

Rather than being green with envy, realize that a dramatic difference between the “haves” and “have-nots” is the “do” and “do-nots.” If you are seeking positive change and transformation, what can you begin to do?

Poised Positioning•tBe mindful of how you use your body to communicate.•tBe fully present in the moment.•tBe thoughtful and gracious in your actions.•tBe fluid and elegant in your movements.•tExpress flow—walk in freedom and spontaneity.•tDevelop an unshakeable sense of authentic inner confidence and certainty.•tDevelop a deep respect for others.•tMove slower and more deliberately.•tWalk in integrity, class, and modesty.•tSmile kindly and laugh softly.•tBecome a student of manners and etiquette.

Exaggerating Your Gestures“Have you ever walked through a door and been jumped on by an over-enthusiastic dog with big paws who practically knocked you down? Some people have that effect. Being too flamboyant and over-boisterous can be overkill and push people away. Drama queens and kings have mastered these exaggerations, much to the chagrin of their observers. Remaining intentional in your gestures is a mark of poise, elegance, and maturity.

Action is the key to creating the changes needed to propel you toward your chosen outcomes and help you achieve your relationship goals. How are you allocating your time, energy, and activities to ‘activate your awesome’ and contribute to making a positive first impression?

Considerations & Exceptions for Impressive Handshakes•tBe mindful of a person’s age; be tender with arthritic hands. In that case, a loose and gentler handshake is a gesture of sensitivity and compassion.•tShow interest; even if your right hand is full, offer your left hand. •tDemonstrate respect when you are caught in an introduction while seated; try to stand. •t Be instinctive about when to allow the length of your handshake to linger to express unity, connection, or sympathy.

Your smile is a magnet for goodwill and positivity. In unison with your attitude, people gravitate to happy people!

My friend John is an urgent care physician who has several patients who come to see him for various ailments on a regular basis. In addition to being brilliant and taking wonderful care of his patients, he has a unique ability to empathetically listen to his patient’s needs. One of his patients is a repeat visitor, even when she's not exhibiting symptoms. He takes the time to listen to how she's feeling and responds with kindness, empathy, and caring. He has come to realize that her visits are filling her deep need to feel validated, cared for, and understood in ways which she does not receive at home. His empathetic listening delivers incredible customer service for patient care and makes him a better health care provider. Wouldn’t it be incredible if this was the manner for not only doctors, but all professionals?

Employee Engagement“Employee Engagement” has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup Polls’ “The State of the American Workforce” survey found that only 32.5 percent of the U.S. Workforce is engaged and committed where they work, and 54 percent say they would consider leaving their companies if they could receive a 20 percent raise elsewhere. Disengagement not only lowers performance, morale, and productivity, but it’s costing employers billions of dollars a year. It's a growing problem, which has many companies baffled.

You can certainly take the easy road and use the predictable and boring defaults like:•tHow are you doing?•tHow about this weather?•tWhat do you do for a living?•tHi. My name is _________. What’s yours?•tBlah, blah, blah, blah . . .Break out of the defaults you have been using for years. Shake it up. Make it fun. Make it memorable. Dive in with more engagement and interaction. Taking the initiative to be more creative will help you build a bridge to close the gap.

Introduce Yourself. Being confident and outgoing will empower you to approach new people who might be reluctant to take the first step. It is amazing how many people we come in contact with yet pass like ships in the night without any engagement or connection.

If the skill of participatory listening came effortlessly and easy for everyone, there would not be so many misunderstandings, communication breakdowns, irritations, and frustrations.

When having lunch or dinner at a long rectangular table, I prefer to take a middle chair so that I can turn to my left or to my right to make meaningful conversation with the people in attendance. When I have been seated at the very end, it can prove to be difficult to speak, hear, and connect with everyone there. Think ahead, and whenever possible, put yourself in the middle of the action!

To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Say something nice!My wise mother raised us with the philosophy that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That is a Southern custom if there ever was one! It is easy to find fault, criticize, condemn, and complain—but none of these behaviors will help you enjoy positive relationship results.

At a Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast, two of my friends and I were standing in a circle talking. A stranger approached, interrupted our little reunion, and gave each of us her card. She then began talking about herself and her business without a hint of social awareness, or care about her interruption. She even had the tactless gall to ask us for referrals. When she left our small circle, we looked at each other and laughed, “What was that?

To cultivate bravery and courage, ground yourself in your character values:Building a solid foundation of integrity and character will fortify your confidence to face down fears and take bold action.

The actor, writer, and director Woody Allen once said, “80% of success is just showing up!” You Can Show Up By . . . •tParticipating.•tSharing ideas.•tBeing dependable.•tKeeping your word.•tTaking the initiative. •tVolunteering to be of assistance.•tBeing there when a friend needs you.•tRaising your hand and asking questions.•tAttending your children’s sporting events.•tTaking your place and claiming your space.•tDemonstrating that you have something to offer.

Proper posture conveys that you are ready to take command and master new situations. When you project this level of confidence, you will instill confidence in others.

Why Polish the Gold?•tIt builds your confidence when you realize that your words have power and can positively influence. •tAs you seek to find the good in others, you will enjoy the ripple effect reminder for finding the good in yourself.•tIt makes a great ice-breaker to begin a conversation.•tIt helps you meet new people and make new friends.•tIt strengthens your relationships and builds mutual admiration.•tIt brings more happiness and joy into your life.•tA little praise goes a long way to make others happy.

What does a solid, comfortable, impressive handshake look and feel like? To deliver a great handshake . . . •tExtend your right hand out vertically at a comfortable waist level toward the person you are meeting.•tConnect hands with web to web contact made between the thumb and index finger. •tBe intentional and appropriate by showing mutual respect and teamwork.•tGently squeeze firmly enough to be confident, yet lightly enough to be gracious. Shake a few times for good measure.•tDiscreetly rotate your wrist so that your hand is slightly on top of theirs when you want to subconsciously convey self-assurance.•tMake eye contact and smile to show sincerity. Throw in an acknowledging head nod for good measure. Avoiding eye contact may be interpreted that you are not attentive or have something to hide.•tIntroduce yourself and when they share their name, repeat it back to them to help you remember it. “It is nice to meet you John.”•tWhen in doubt, mirror their handshake to adapt to what makes them feel comfortable. Customize accordingly to the gender, age, position, personality, and culture of the person you are meeting.

While you will certainly attract more bees with honey, there are times when being nice can backfire. Take it from a naturally kind person, being a “bitch” has its time and place. There will be times when you must engage with mean, rude, and inconsiderate people.

Without civilized social graces, not only is life more difficult, but a positive first impression can be destroyed as fast as it is made.

Beyond these universal expressions of emotion, there are hundreds of variations which are often a matter of choice, whether consciously or subconsciously. Most every facial movement is connected to an emotion that conveys your state of being and your attitude

Active listening is key to all healthy and effective communication, however, it doesn't necessarily come easily.

With your mind alert and your eyes wide open, you will be better able to assess your space and your place for optimizing exchanges and your communication impressions.

Well Hello Halo! It is human nature for us to make generalized judgments about a person using only a couple of traits. The "Expressivity Halo" Theory explains how we connect various personalities to specific facial expressions and assign assumptions about that person.

Communication is the soul of all relationships. More than any other skill, it is the heartbeat of success in sales, marketing, marriage, business, friendship, communities, and beyond.

Why Do Some People NOT Take Initiative?•tThey have a FEAR of . . . rejection, looking stupid, failing, criticism, getting out of their comfort zone, or imposing on other people.•tThey are unmotivated or uninspired.•tThey get stuck in negativity, confusion, stress, or doubt.•tThey don’t want to upset the apple cart or the status quo.•tThey are lazy, disengaged, or indifferent.•tThey have LACK of . . . energy, desire, confidence, self-esteem, skills, creativity, imagination, connections, resources, education.

By being fully present and engaged you will maximize your moments to make every encounter count.

I disagree with the adage, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Good intentions are powerful mindsets which will drive your actions to accomplish the results you want. Setting good intentions sets you up for success by providing you with a vision and a plan to “get ‘er done” and make it happen!

Smiling reduces blood pressure by lowering the stress-inducing hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. As my mother, who is now in her eighties, navigates the challenges of aging, her mantra has become, “Keep moving and keep smiling.” She has observed the rapid decline of her friends who haven’t. She is striving to stay strong, happy, and vital; her desire to smile is helping her to live a healthier, more satisfying, and longer life.

Become keenly aware of these three layers to discover whether you're listening with interest and intent for excellent communication and understanding—or are you unintentionally sabotaging potentially phenomenal conversations. Knowledge of the listening planes will raise your awareness. And as you apply these, enjoy the surprising difference.

Have you decided to simply smile and nod to avoid a confrontation with someone who was being a jerk? Have you ever feigned agreement with your face to get along with others, even when you disagreed with their position? We all have. Your expressions of emotion can protect you at times in awkward situations, and when used with integrity. Test the waters by responding with an expression of curiosity or bewilderment when someone is acting inappropriately.

While smiling is a powerful facial gesture, there are other expressions on your face which reveal an extraordinary number of emotions. A body language of its own, people will read your facial messages and form opinions about you before you’ve even said a word.