Pun Quotes

What happened when the Verb asked the noun to conjugate? She said "no-no!", forgot the "o" and decided to become a nun!

Homo Cannot Erectus

Going to the gym at this odd hour didn't 'work out' for me.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

The greatest irony is that people with Rolodexes are no longer LinkedIn. And if that pun doesn't make sense, don’t ask anyone in your Rolodex to explain it.

I know my rights.""And I know you're wrong.

Do you know why they call this place the Rookery?" Elodin asked. I shook my head."Because it's where you go if you're a-ravin'." He smiled a wild smile. He laughed a terrible laugh.

Just when you see a kid selling a mascot,If you don't buy it because he winks, Not only that will be considered a "boycott",Xenophobically, it will also be a jinx!

The doctor's wife ate two apples a day, just to be safe. But her husband kept coming home.

Brody's not gay. But then he kisses a boy. So he might be gay? No, Brody's not gay. But he loves this boy. So after much delaying, debating, and waiting, the answer comes clear...nothing is ever perfectly straight. It's slash.

Stop your idiocy, Sandra, please. For once in your death.

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.

I never knew an enemy to puns who was not an ill-natured man.

Puns are just another form of sarcasm, which may or may not make you - smile, giggle, or laugh.

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?'Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.'Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.'I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.

He that would pun would pick a pocket.

Of puns it has been said that those most dislike who are least able to utter them.

What did the soup say to the tea plate? "You're too shallow for me. I like deep dish to dip right into!" I still keep my British humour in good taste. No room for egos or rumours.