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Years ago, I read Andrew Carnegie’s metaphor "developing people is like mining gold." He shared that sometimes you must move tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold. Every one of us has dirt because we are all imperfect and fallible. However, within each of us lies a vein of gold. When you find this treasure, regardless of how small, and begin to polish it, a person will shine so brightly the dirt falls away.
Susan C.Young
communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, how to be complimentary, motivational speaker Susan Young, positivity quotes, positive first impression quotes, susanspeaks.com, find the best in others
Susan C.Young
All compliments are not created equal. Some may change the trajectory of a person’s life, while others fall on deaf ears. Is it well deserved or earned? People will remember you fondly when you have affirmed them in a positive way. Paying compliments creates good will, happy moments, and makes you more likable in return.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Flip your positivity switch:What is your first instinct? If you are quick to find fault, look for the negative, or complain about another person, knock it off! It makes you less fun to be around. When you feel those negative thoughts and judgments coming in, catch yourself and STOP!
Susan C.Young
As a lifetime optimist, my first tendency has always been to look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. Noticing the good has helped me immensely in life and business and it can do the same for you.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Be complimentary:Find something positive to say to compliment another person. Whether they are being a great parent, dressing nicely, maintaining a gorgeous yard, or winning a recent 5K run, pick something to acknowledge which is noteworthy.
Susan C.Young
Finding the good in others is mutually rewarding for both you and the fortunate recipient of your kind words. Don’t you love being around people who make you feel great about yourself? Don’t you want to do business with people who make you feel valued and important? Wouldn’t you rather work with people who appreciate and respect you? Of course you would! Now go out and do that for others! When you become a generous good-finder you will infuse positive energy, optimism, and good will into their lives, as well as your own.
Susan C.Young
Polishing the gold in others is easy to do and a valuable habit to develop to transform your relationship results. People will usually rise to the occasion and live up to your positive expectations.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Make a list of positives:Whether you would like to nurture a healthy relationship or improve a toxic one, make a list of positives which you admire about the other person. Begin by identifying, acknowledging, and focusing on their good qualities. Your perspective and how you feel about the person will begin to shift. You will find it much easier to polish the gold from a perspective of gratitude and appreciation.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Acknowledge their achievements:Great achievements require great effort and usually come dressed as hard work. Move beyond merely recognizing the achievement and express admiration for the effort it took to get there.
Susan C.Young
Polishing the gold in others will not only make them feel better about themselves, but it will also elevate you in their eyes as well as your own. Gifting others with your words of affirmation is an easy yet generous way to spread goodwill and create a positive experience for everyone.
Susan C.Young
Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Say something nice!My wise mother raised us with the philosophy that if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. That is a Southern custom if there ever was one! It is easy to find fault, criticize, condemn, and complain—but none of these behaviors will help you enjoy positive relationship results.
Susan C.Young
Why Polish the Gold?•tIt builds your confidence when you realize that your words have power and can positively influence. •tAs you seek to find the good in others, you will enjoy the ripple effect reminder for finding the good in yourself.•tIt makes a great ice-breaker to begin a conversation.•tIt helps you meet new people and make new friends.•tIt strengthens your relationships and builds mutual admiration.•tIt brings more happiness and joy into your life.•tA little praise goes a long way to make others happy.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Focus on the Positives:Focusing on the positives will get you further in business and further in life. Whatever you focus on will expand. If you focus on what you do not like about another person, they will become so intolerable to you that you cannot bear to be around them. However, if you focus on their positives and can find something redeeming, regardless of how small, the positivity needed to experience a more constructive interaction and relationship will manifest before your eyes.
Susan C.Young
UN-Impressive ‘Compliments’ . . .•tWhen compliments are used as a passive-aggressive way to manipulate others for personal gain.•tDelivering a back-handed compliment which makes others feel bad.•tDishonesty—you say it but really do not mean it.•tFalse bravado.•tManufacturing the moment for your ulterior motives.•tPandering to win affection, a vote, or approval.•tExaggerating and being over-zealous.•tBeing hypocritical.•tExpressing preferential treatment or making an unfair comparison.•tWhen it draws attention to a person’s weakness, disabilities, or shortcomings.•tWhen it is inappropriate and off-color.
Susan C.Young
What are the key elements for a fabulous, well-delivered compliment? You . . .•tare sincere and genuine.•tgive it freely without expecting anything in return. Your compliment is a selfless gift, not a boomerang.•tare specific and detailed.•telaborate on why you like something.•tdescribe how their positive virtue has positively impacted you.•tcan use adjectives for more colorful descriptions.•tkeep it positive.•tsay it like you mean it with intentional impact.•tuse discretion and good judgment.•tleave no room for misinterpretation or misunderstanding.•tsay the right thing at the right moment and let it flow organically.Finding sincere ways to compliment others is a powerful way to make a great first and last impression.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Brag about their accomplishments in front of others:For years, I have shared that the definition of a good friend is someone who says nice things about you behind your back. And the definition of a GREAT friend is someone who says GREAT things to others in front of you. One of the kindest things a husband or wife can do for their relationships is to brag about their partner’s qualities to other people.
Susan C.Young
Service [sur-vis] noun1.t the act of helping, aiding, or doing work for another.“Does this dictionary definition sound simplistic? Well, it is foundational to delivering world-class, game-changing service. Did you notice it didn’t mention you? True service takes the focus completely off you and devotes it entirely to the needs of another person.
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . take the time to mine the gold.Actively seek the goodness in others then express your gratitude for it. Excavate the dirt, seek the treasure, and polish their gold to shine boldly and brightly. People will rise to your positive expectations and belief in them.
Susan C.Young
Refusing someone’s kind words can cause the one doing the complimenting to feel bad. Not only might they regret trying to be nice, but you may have cut off your chances of being complimented by them ever again. Being humble is one thing; being rude is another. Practice receiving compliments with grace, dignity, appreciation, and gratitude. The perfect response to a fine compliment is simply, “Thank you!
Susan C.Young
To Polish the Gold & Help Others Shine . . . Catch people doing things right:Outstanding leaders know that people will be more engaged, perform at higher levels, and be more loyal when they are appreciated and celebrated. Jeff West, international speaker and author of The Unexpected Tour Guide, shares that “People will jump over high hurdles, fight fires and break through walls for leaders who find them doing things right. Building that kind of chemistry is essential if a team is going to jell.” Capitalize on the opportunity to notice what people are doing right at work and at home and they will deliver their best. As the old saying goes, “A person who feels appreciated will always do more than expected.
Susan C.Young
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