Crackers Quotes

On Atheism – If people continue to think of atheism as a kind of religion, then I demand all the perks that real religions get. I want to build big empty buildings where like-minded people can gather once a week to debate a non-existent deity. I want tax-exempt status. I want real food, not cheap wine and crackers. I want a rocking band. I want altar men! Not altar boys—altar MEN—and I want them to look like the chain-clad guy who hands an envelope to RuPaul at the beginning of “To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar”.

To evade insanity and depression, we unconsciously limit the number of people toward whom we are sincerely sympathetic.

Every single person is a fool, insane, a failure, or a bad person to at least ten people.

We would not be ashamed of doing some of the things we do in private, if the number of sane human beings who do them in public were large enough.