Aphorisms Quotes - Page 5

Keep trying?I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky

I'm not a saint! Thanks God!

Life is a circle. It spins you around.

Smile out loud! Make them wonder.

When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not to prove or disprove innocence; unbeknown to almost all lawyers and their clients, it is to save the court time.

We sometimes reveal how ignorant or bored we were when we read a book by giving it 5-stars.

Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.

To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.

Some people would not be dead if they have not gotten the things or people they had prayed for.

Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.

Some people would not have remained with their partners, if the unfortunate things that have happened to them had happened to their partners, or if the fortunate things that have happened to their partners had happened to them.

Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.

More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.

We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.

We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.

Some people wouldn’t still be sane, if they were not religious or superstitious; some wouldn’t be disabled or dead.

We envy people who are extremely old because we wish to live that long, not because we want to be that old.

We have glorified wealth and freedom so much that it is impossible for most of us to truly believe that a man can truly be happy in a shack or within the confines of a prison cell.

A maid’s yard, house, wardrobe, fridge, etc. sometimes also serve as her master’s dustbin or dumpsite.

Most adults are knowledgeable to a child, but ignorant for their age.

Repeat a lie a thousand times and it become a successful political campaign.

Many of the boys and men who are regarded as immature by some females are so deemed merely because they do not want to get married someday … or soon.

Marketing is so powerful that it can make even an extremely untalented musician a one-hundred-hits wonder.

Answers were always important, but they were seldom easy.

Don't judge a book by its cover. Judge it by its publisher.

We, in the interest of the so-called progress, have been persuaded to leave the production and at times the cooking of our food to companies whose owners and employees make a living by exploiting our busyness or laziness and our innate hunger to continue living.

I improvise therefore I exist!

Millions of sane people would each be sexually attracted to their own parent or child if they were not related to them.

Being bored is the price we pay for not being insane.

Love at first sight? Let me just put on my glasses.

There would be fewer absent fathers, if straight men were turned on only by women with whom they would not mind having children.

Everything is possible, but where can I find everything?!

Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.

There are 31.536.000 seconds in a year. I am counting down every second.

The average adult has had sex innumerable times more than they have formed an opinion of their own.

Some people are each holding on to a lover of theirs who no longer loves them and/or who they no longer love, only because they do not want to have a reason or another reason to be jealous of the person who would eventually be their lover if they let go of them.

The more you know, the less you talk. The less you talk, the more you know.

Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.

Selfie-centered person!

Most women would each be left with fewer dreams or without a dream, if the institution of marriage were to be abolished.

Most sane human beings’ chances of being alive in a thousand years’ time are a hundred times higher than their chances of being sincerely happy for at least ten consecutive days.

Go to bed! Someone is anxious to come into your dream.

As we all know, as if forever exploiting or attempting to exploit each other were not enough, a group of sane human beings who have just reached the end of a war against a common enemy of theirs will sooner or later start or continue killing and/or fighting against each other.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

In some cases, you can tell how somebody is being treated by their own boss from the way they are treating someone to whom they are a boss.

Treat me as I am,and that I shall remain.Treat me as I wish to be,and that I shall become.

Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.

The only way to fight nostalgia is to listen to somebody else's nostalgia

I have nothing to lose. I keep all my valuables in a safe.

It's not over till the fat lady eats!

We all have problems. Or rather, everyone has at least one thing that they regard as a problem.

A criminal always returns home.

Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.

Gullibility is a knife at the throat of civilization.

When it comes to their love lives, some people do not really have high standards; they merely have low sex drive.

Some of the best things that have ever happened to us wouldn’t have happened to us, if it weren’t for some of the worst things that have ever happened to us.

Some of us were brought into this troubled world primarily or only to increase our fathers’ chances of not being left by our mothers, or vice versa.

There is no such thing as a boring person when you are lonely or extremely bored.