Aphorisms Quotes - Page 2

We human beings regard ourselves as (or compare ourselves to) animals only when it suits us.

An aphorism needn't be true, but it should sound true.

The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.

Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.

It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.

Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.

Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.

Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.

Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.

A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.

Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.

The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.

No misery ever so beautiful than the one this mind creates.

There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.

To ask a man whether or not he has a girlfriend is to talk about his sex life. If you disagree with that, then how in the name of God do you differentiate between a man’s girlfriend and a girl that is a friend to the man?

A painting is worth a thousand confused art-gallery visitors.

Some women have kissed—and some are kissing—a lot of frogs, even though the very first man that they have each kissed was and is still a prince.

It’s easy to count other people’s mistakes. Make your own if you can.

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.

Once you drop a mask, you can never wear it again.

Old words are reborn with new faces.

Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not.

Not a few millions of parents strongly hope that their own children will step in by instantly becoming their own parents’ foster parents, if and when the parents reach their second childhood.

Our parents would not be ‘The best parents in the world’ (to us) if they were not our parents.

He who is jealous is better off not dating someone who is bisexual.

Wealth seldom fails to breed the fear of poverty.

Most priests wish they were as righteous as they seem to most members of their congregations.

Many if not most slaves would have each readily jumped, and many if not most slaves would each readily jump, at the opportunity to be a master, if such an opportunity presents or had presented itself.

It is usually unbearably painful to read a book by an author who knows way less than you do, unless the book is a novel.

Millions of business people are each constantly forced to choose between their desire to not be a bad person and their desire to be a good business person, that is to say, to make as much money as they possibly can by maximizing their revenue while minimizing the cost of producing whatever it is that they sell.

Even those who want to go to heaven would rather kill than be killed.

People who talk too much are tiresome, especially those who are not informative, thought-provoking, or funny.

Boredom is probably more frequent and more tormenting if you do not have sight or hands.

The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to please Society, the very same bitch that secretly regards them as subhuman.

You cannot really shame a man who sincerely does not care what others think of him.

When it comes to things such as sugar and rice, most people believe that brown is superior to white. But when it comes to human beings, they believe that the opposite is true.

Most people do not mind having a house that is smaller and/or a car that is cheaper than their neighbours’, as long as they each earn and have more money than their neighbours, and, equally important, their neighbours know that.

We are way less likely to love someone just because they love us than we are to hate someone just because they hate us.

Being rich or famous is the only profound thing that some people have ever said.

Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.

Most people would rather eat inside a windowless room in which they have just defecated than eat inside one in which someone else has just farted, even if the room does not have a toilet.

Some people are each envious of the person they used to be.

Some men are so indoctrinated that they sincerely believe that other than cooking and cleaning the only thing that a woman can do better than them is being a woman.

We are generally treated based on how much or little we have, earn, or know—or seem to have, earn, or know.

There would definitely be way fewer instances of cheating, if the average couple did not have sex only when the woman feels like it.

Say not you know another entirely, till you have divided an inheritance with him.

Some people have contracted HIV during their separate endeavours to give someone or some people a curable STD.

An agnostic is a creature that is religiously skeptical whenever it is told that God exists … or that He doesn’t.

Most men would no longer enjoy conversing with most women if they stopped bringing their vaginas along.

As an unavoidable result of the inevitable loss of some physical and/or some mental abilities, many a man who has been alive for many years has become a boy again.

Pure wisdom is the 'fruit of life' banal platitudes are the 'bane of existence'.

Things are always either black or white. The grey in between is only a confusion.

The fine line between genius and madness is a punch line. Duck, you idiot!

The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.

The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least like.

If there is anyone who owes everything to Bach, it is certainly God.

If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money.

An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of going to hell.

If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.

We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.