Aphorism Quotes

Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.

The shortest distance between two points is always under construction.

Getting through life without a lot of money, possessions, and/or friends is admirable, especially if it is by choice.

Whenever they are condemning weaves or breast implants, some people speak so passionately that their false teeth almost fall out.

Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child, something or some of the things that they, the parent, did not do or did not do successfully.

Many a death was precipitated by the food, the job, or the medication whose main function was to postpone it.

In searching for myself, I have created myself.

Minimalism is a way of living at the maximum of your potential.

Not everyone who has killed themselves because they were HIV positive would have been killed by AIDS.

The wind is blowing. Don’t bend if you want to please him.

Many a survivor of a plane crash who is or was against cannibalism and had never eaten human flesh once found themselves in a situation where they had to either eat human flesh, or go the way of all flesh.

Culture is a symbolic veil with which we hide our animal nature from ourselves … and other animals.

Most people are willing to promise you a lot. A few are those who can promise you a little, just as much as they can.

Even the world’s greatest actor cannot fake an erection.

Although they probably know that some children were used and some children are used as miners, most adults are ignorant of the chocolate industry’s use of minors.

Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers.

For a sane person to sincerely be happy that someone has succeeded, they have to either be profiting or likely to profit from that person’s success, or be that person.

Love at first life!

Though people sort of need your permission to talk to you, they do not really need one to talk about you.

Only someone who isn’t a fool stands a chance of not being bothered by being deemed a fool by a fool.

Hide in the morrow. No one will look for you there.

Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.

In reality most human beings are not, to most human beings, more important than money.

Melancholy: an appetite no misery satisfies.

The middle class were invented to give the poor hope; the poor, to make the rich feel special; the rich, to humble the middle class.

It goes without saying that even those of us who are going to hell will get eternal life—if that territory really exists outside religious books and the minds of believers, that is. Having said that, given the choice, instead of being grilled until hell freezes over, the average sane human being would, needless to say, rather spend forever idling in an extremely fertile garden, next to a lamb or a chicken or a parrot, which they do not secretly want to eat, and a lion or a tiger or a crocodile, which does not secretly want to eat them.

A coward is a servant of his fears.A hero enslaves his fears.

Don't draw the line before stupidity. It'll take it as a start.

I do not have a problem with people killing themselves, as long as they took at least a hundred years to think about what they are about to do.

We are sometimes dragged into a pit of unhappiness by someone else’s opinion that we do not look happy.

A journal takes the place of a confidant, that is, of friend or wife; it becomes a substitute for production, a substitute for country and public. It is a grief-cheating device, a mode of escape and withdrawal; but, factotum as it is, though it takes the place of everything, properly speaking it represents nothing at all...

More often than not, expecting to lose weight without first losing the diet that made the weight loss necessary is like expecting a pig to be spotless after hosing it down while it was still rolling in mud.

Some men would not still be HIV negative or alive, if they had managed to sleep with some of the women with whom they want or wanted to have sex.

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

Wear none of thine own Chains; but keep free, whilst thou art free.

Eko brushed a tear from her eye, and Immo jeered at her, but father held up a hand. "Never mock a tender heart," he said.

Men can go to hell! I’ll meet them there.

Most human beings strongly believe that money is way less important than the life of a human being, but in reality five hundred, fifty, or even five dollars are way more important to the lives of most human beings than the lives of most human beings.

The second most dangerous thing about money is that it leaves most of the people who have a lot of it with the unshakable belief that they are intelligent and well informed. The most dangerous thing about it is that it leaves most of the people who do not have a lot of money with the very same belief.

Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.

More often than not, an inspirational or motivational speaker is someone who makes money from telling us that we can do all of the things that we can do … and pretty much all of the things that we cannot do.

The magic of fiction lies in deluding reason that it is fiction.

A definition is the enclosing a wilderness of idea within a wall of words.

I saw an injured black cat. God knows, who has crossed her path.

Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think you have.

I have forgotten my umbrella.

Love doesn't go away overnight. It sometimes stays for coffee.

We usually learn from debates that we seldom learn from debates.

He with the cleanest clothes isn’t necessarily the cleanest.

The real reason the number of things that are shared via social media every single minute is so astronomical is because, whenever they each do, most users do not share or say something because they believe they have something worth remembering; they do mainly or only because they fear being forgotten.

Some people wish they were as happy as or happy like some people think they are.

You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.

It takes two to bribe.

Sexual starvation forces a heterosexual man to see beauty in every single female who he can sleep with without his society’s disapproval.

A deep breath is a technique with which we minimize the number of instances where we say what we do not mean … or what we really think.

A good night's sleep counts healthy sheep.

Women! Dressed to kill the woman in them.

There’s no such thing as a good or bad person: there are just people who have each been or seem to have been good or bad to you, someone, or some people, thus far.

His boat sank. They were all on his side.

When you are suffering from sexual starvation, a spank or even a hug seems like a porn scene.