Steve Kluger Quotes

My waist is a 30. The jeans are a 28. When I fart, the Reeboks blow off.

Augie: Does everybody else know?T.C.: About my epitaph?Augie: About me being gay, you gink-head hoser-face!T.C. Not everybody. There's a night watchman at a Dunkin Donuts just outside of Detroit. He doesn't know yet.

Romance is a universally unspoken language understood by all living organism on this planet except heterosexual men.

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself.

After you've spent four years kissing somebody's perineum, the subtext talks louder than words.

We make families of our own, Travis whispered in my arms on the last night we spent together. It starts with you and me and then it spreads. And whatever happens, there’ll always be a part of me that’s part of you. No matter what.

Papa, I'm ashamed that you think women are so simple. We can make decisions for ourselves too, you know. I'm not a child or a baby anymore, so I'm allowed to speak my mind. And if you don't wish to hear it, just tell me so and I'll go into another room-but I'll speak it anyway. I want this for myself as much as I've never wanted the diplomatic corps and I'm going to get it-even if I have to do it alone. Excuse me.

Communicating with the federal government is like talking to a computer that's crashing.