It sounded, I told him, as if he had never learned to balance projecting goals into the future with appreciating and living in the present….To the extent that our goal is to “prove” ourselves or ward off the fear of failure, this balance is difficult to achieve. We are too driven. Not joy but anxiety is our motor.But if our aim is self-expression rather than self-justification, the balance tends to come more naturally. We will still need to think about its daily implementation, but the anxiety of wounded self-esteem will not make the task nearly impossible.

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