It is no easy thing to be in your mid-twenties and realize that, holy shit, this is it, this is as good as it gets, and from here it’s all downhill, the fun’s over, the hijinks have jinked their last, nothing lies ahead but drudgery and toil and a sagging belly and death. It’s harder yet when a stupid bitch, a numbfuck cunt, one of those horrible sweet-smelling OMG types who wouldn’t talk to you in high school and sure as fuck won’t talk to you now, takes position on your elbow with a cell phone jammed into her cheek, yammering away. Because who wants to listen to the stream of shit coming out of her mouth? Gossip about friends. Gossip about enemies. Gossip about celebrities. Gossip about gossip. Not a thought in her head. Not a fact. Nothing of interest. Nothing of worth. Just an avalanche of verbal rubbish. The Patriots took on the Redcoats, the Blue fought the Gray, the National Guard stormed the beaches of Normandy, so this submoronic cretin could stand here in her designer boots and talk about what happened at the club last night.

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