Ada Calhoun Quotes

...that's part of what marriage means: sometimes hating this other person but staying together because you promised you would.

Dating is poetry. Marriage is a novel. There are times, maybe years, that are all exposition.

Forsaking all others means going deep with one person -- exhaustingly deep.

Wherever you go, there you are. You would just have different problems. Are the problems you have now so bad that any other problems would be better?

To love somebody is not just a strong feeling -- it is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise," writes psychologist Erich Fromm. "If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision?

I want to say that at various points in your marriage, may it last forever, you will look at this person and feel only rage.

The romantic fairy tales we grew up with -- where marriage is the happy ending rather than the opening scene -- are not useful for grown-ups.

(Personally, I have avoided many fights by going to bed angry and waking up to realize that I'd just been tired.)