Quotes by Satirists - Page 6

He had a clear conscience. Never used it.
Stanisław Jerzy Lec
The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Like the rest of Holy Week, Easter is also a terrific story. It starts as tragedy: the hero broken and bloody, against all expectation dead, his followers' joyful hope in him entombed with his corpse, the rock rolled into place, sealing their despair.But the curtain doesn't fall there. The next morning at dawn they discover the rock has been rolled back. The tomb is empty, the body's gone! A missing corpse? Great stuff. A whisper of comedy. Now a touch of farce as Mary Magdalen and the guys chase frantically around looking for help, or the corpse, when suddenly, out of nowhere, up it pops—alive!Of course it's Jesus, who's done the impossible and beaten death.And they're so amazed they think he's the gardener! It's a payoff way beyond the Hollywood ending: all the flooding emotion and uplift of a tragedy followed by all the bubbling joy and optimism of a comedy.Is that possible? Not just to live happily ever after but to die—and still live happily ever after? It's the most audacious claim of Christianity, the one element that marks the brand indelibly, that trumps the claims of all other major faiths.
Tony Hendra
There are words and accents by which this grief can be assuaged, and the disease in a great measure removed.
Horace
It often takes more courage to change one's opinion than to stick to it.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
A belief is an uneducated guess.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Reality is a hallucination shared by most sane men.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Education n: that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Ambrose Bierce
Some of the people we feel sorry for feel sorry for us for thinking that they are the ones who should be felt sorry for.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Inscriptions here of various Names I view'd,The greater part by hostile time subdu'd;Yet wide was spread their fame in ages past,And Poets once had promis'd they should last.
Alexander Pope
For he lives twice who can at once employ,The present well, and e’en the past enjoy.
Alexander Pope
Modern literature is a north-east wind--a blight of the human soul. I take credit to myself for having helped to make it so. The way to produce fine fruit is to blight the flower. You call this a paradox. Marry, so be it.
Thomas Love Peacock
In a materialistic society, the dead body of a rich man’s dog is regarded as a corpse; that of a poor man, a carcass.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Retirement is a stage where an employer discards an employee that he cannot exploit further.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Lectio, quae placuit, decies repetita placebit.(What we read with pleasure we can read many times with pleasure.)
Horace
Success is subjective. Your dream bank balance could be someone else’s nightmare.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Old Age homes are civilization's dumpsites for human beings who it cannot exploit further.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Clearly it's not all that pacific on the Pacific Ocean
Ilya Ilf
Hunger is insolent and will be fed.
Alexander Pope
You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lottery is your only chance to realizing financial freedom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Dating a wo/man with a kid is the new adoption.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Alexander Pope
Politics and Sport were invented to give unknowledgeable people an opportunity to share their knowledge.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
Alexander Pope
Death is number one on the list of things that we wish were possible to leave behind when we escaped barbarism.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is still cheating, even if nobody comes.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The phrase *You complete me* is nonsensical. A couple is a *we* … not a complete *me.*
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
take a strict view of their excrements, and, from the colour, the odour, the taste, the consistence, the crudeness or maturity of digestion, form a judgment of their thoughts and designs; because men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool...
Jonathan Swift
Just like how most if not all poor boys look up to and aspire to someday be rich men, most if not all underdeveloped and developing countries look up to and aspire to someday be developed countries.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most people who are would each not be in love with their partner, if they did not have the kind of genitals they have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A horny man is seen. A horny woman is heard.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being a bad parent is a sign of not having learned from experience.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A salary is a tax employers pay, every four weeks, for putting an employee’s dream on hold.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Too much is unwholesome.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
A newspaper is an oversized book with adverts and an expiry date.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In any sane society, a farmer is a billion times more important than an economist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
And may I live the remainder of my life ... for myself may there be plenty of books and many years' store of the fruits of the earth!
Horace
Tis an old maxim in the schools That flattery's the food of fools - Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.
Jonathan Swift
Saying that you do not remember something or someone is a less embarrassing or hurtful way of saying that you do not know it or them anymore.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A premature death does not only rob one of the countless instances where one would have experienced pleasure, it also saves one from the innumerable instances where one would have experienced pain.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Poetic justice, with her lifted scale,Where, in nice balance, truth with gold she weighs,And solid pudding against empty praise. Here she beholds the chaos dark and deep,Where nameless somethings in their causes sleep,Till genial Jacob, or a warm third day,Call forth each mass, a poem, or a play:How hints, like spawn, scarce quick in embryo lie,How new-born nonsense first is taught to cry.
Alexander Pope
Being divorced does not necessarily make one’s advice on marriage useless … or useful.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Professional’ does not necessarily mean that the person so labelled is good or knows what they are doing. In many a case, it merely means that they do whatever that they are a professional at for a living, not as a hobby.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Let your poem be kept nine years.
Horace
The modern man is usually in a hurry to get to a destination from which he will sooner or later suffer from and at times complain about boredom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He mounts the storm and walks upon the wind.
Alexander Pope
Thanks to the internet, you can provoke thoughts of those in mansions, from the uncomfortableness of your shack.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Working overtime is an underpaid man’s salvation.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy is the best bred in the company.
Jonathan Swift
No matter how ill we may be nor how low we may have fallen we should not change identity with any other person.
Samuel Butler
The human population would probably be way less than a thousand, if ejaculation were not usually accompanied by an orgasm.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
What it is forbidden to be put right becomes lighter by acceptance.
Horace
Fate would have no divinity if we were wise: it is we who make her a goddess and place her in heaven.
Juvenal
Alive ridiculous and dead forgot?
Alexander Pope
A freedom-fighter is a slave to freedom.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Don't judge a man by his opinions, but what his opinions have made of him.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
In a society that prioritizes man’s health, a cleaner is more important than a lawyer.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.
Jonathan Swift
There probably was a time when the idea of having a toilet inside a house was repulsive.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana