Quotes by Satirists - Page 22

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot! The world forgetting by the world forgot.
Alexander Pope
Cease to inquire what the future has in store and take as a gift whatever the day brings forth.
Horace
Alcohol is one of the quickest vehicles with which we escape shyness, our problems, and self-consciousness, for a few hours.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most sorts of diversion in men children and other animals are in imitation of fighting.
Jonathan Swift
America once had the clarity of a pioneer axe.
Robert Osborn
chaos of thought and passion, all confus'd.
Alexander Pope
When in court, the primary role of lawyers is not to prove or disprove innocence; unbeknown to almost all lawyers and their clients, it is to save the court time.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?
Steve Aylett
One who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Ambrose Bierce
Where beams of imagination play,The memory's soft figures melt away.
Alexander Pope
An obstinate man does not hold opinions but they hold him.
Alexander Pope
We sometimes reveal how ignorant or bored we were when we read a book by giving it 5-stars.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A slice of bread eaten is a million times more nourishing than a loaf of bread imagined.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
All evil begins with this belief: that another’s existence is less precious than mine.
Tony Hendra
Whatso'er we perpetrate We do but row we are steered by fate.
Samuel Butler
Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
To evade arrogance, remind yourself (from time to time) that your talent or success could have been better. To be thankful, remind yourself (every now and then) that your illness or failure could have been worse.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
For fools admire but men of sense approve.
Alexander Pope
The hungry judges soon the sentence sign and wretches hang that jurymen may dine.
Alexander Pope
A historian is a risk-terrified prophet.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whoever that came up with the idea of people having to have 'a dream' sure knew how to keep these creatures called human beings preoccupied.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
True wit is nature to advantage dressed;What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed.
Alexander Pope
A book is a mirror: if an ape looks into it an apostle is hardly likely to look out.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Life humbles the rich by giving them problems that money can’t resolve, or, dissolve.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Woman's at best a contradiction still.
Alexander Pope
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.
Samuel Butler
Truth might be heroic, but it was not within the range of practical domestic politics.
Samuel Butler
Getting older comes with abilities. Being old comes with disabilities.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people would not be dead if they have not gotten the things or people they had prayed for.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The highest level than can be reached by a mediocre but experienced mind is a talent for uncovering the weaknesses of those greater than itself.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people would not have remained with their partners, if the unfortunate things that have happened to them had happened to their partners, or if the fortunate things that have happened to their partners had happened to them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Famine sometimes increases the number of people who are overweight.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Overrated is order.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Marriage is the commodification of affection, copulation, and, reproduction.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The tendency of modern science is to reduce proof to absurdity by continually reducing absurdity to proof.
Samuel Butler
A truly compassionate man gives a poor woman a portion of his meal before he eats, not after he has eaten.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
What some invent the rest enlarge.
Jonathan Swift
Is ours a government of the people, by the people, for the people, or a kakistocracy rather, for the benefit of knaves at the cost of fools?
Thomas Love Peacock
For an entrepreneur: wealth invites fame. For a celebrity: fame invites wealth.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A promotion is an illusionary solution out of an indebted employee’s pit of debt.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You are. Before you are whatever you are labeled.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
More people would be depressed, if parents tried to please their children as frequently and as badly as children try to please their parents.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We seldom learn much from someone with whom we agree.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.
Karl Kraus
We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Employment frees man from the nightmare of unemployment, while it chains him to his employer’s dream.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people wouldn’t still be sane, if they were not religious or superstitious; some wouldn’t be disabled or dead.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Shyness is a luxury reserved for those who are above the poverty line. To a beggar, being shy is deadly.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Immediately after a divorce or a breakup, your mind whispers that there are plenty more fish in the sea, while your heart shouts that there is only one whoever-you-just-divorced-or-broke-up-with.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Pale Death with impartial tread beats at the poor man's cottage door and at the palaces of kings.
Horace
In a society where women are truly equal to men, a kid bred by a theist mother and an atheist father is born an agnostic. In a patriarchal society, the kid is automatically an atheist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A tomboy is a bisexual girl’s dream lover.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Bad writers are those who try to express their own feeble ideas in the language of good ones.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Sun glasses are the unofficial celebrities’ uniform.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You can only manage to convince a person to admit to being wrong, not ignorant, arrogant, or stupid.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If, again, the most superficial introspection teaches the physiologist that his conscious life is dependent upon the mechanical adjustments of his body, and that inversely his body is subjected with certain limitations to his will, then it only remains for him to make one assumption more, namely, that this mutual interdependence between the spiritual and the material is itself also dependent on law, and he has discovered the bond by which the science of the matter and the science of consciousness are united into a single whole.
Samuel Butler
Most men of education are more superstitious than they admit - nay than they think.
G. C. Lichtenberg
Other than the promise of life after death, nothing consoles the poor better than the fact that rich people are also subject to death.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana