Quotes by Satirists - Page 15

A straight face is an ignorant man’s attempt to appear knowledgeable.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Faith is a kind of betting or speculation.
Samuel Butler
In a materialistic society, an employed boy is older than an unemployed man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
For their never-ending endeavours to obtain or retain wealth, countries desperately need companies, because they—unlike most human beings—have the means of production, and human beings, because they—unlike all companies—have the means of reproduction.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Feminists who accept the claim made in The Book of Genesis, and, that God is a he, need to make their minds up.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Every man has his moral backside too which he doesn't expose unnecessarily but keeps covered as long as possible by the trousers of decorum.
G. C. Lichtenberg
I can generally bear the separation but I don't like the leave-taking.
Samuel Butler
Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Pray v: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Ambrose Bierce
Human life is under the absolute dominion of two mighty principles, fear and hope, and that any one who can make these serve his ends may be sure of rapid fortune.
Lucian of Samosata
Free is he who is reputable for not being fearful of losing his reputation.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Christianity . . . sees the necessity for man to have spiritual values and it shows him how to get at those through physical sacraments.
Malcolm Muggeridge
A celebrity's body is an advertiser's canvas.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Life curses some poor people with the love of luxury, while it blesses some with the very same thing.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I am obsessed with not being obsessed with acquiring material things.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is too bad if you have to do everything upon reflection and can't do anything from early habit.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
I am confident of my ability to demonstrate that one can sometimes believe in something and yet not believe in it. Nothing is less fathomable than the systems that motivate our actions.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
What to wear: An employee chooses. How to dress: His employer chose.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Marriage converts a player into a polygamist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
With Zia's controversial demise in 1988, Jinnah was finally spared the false beard Zia kept pinning on the founder's otherwise clean-shaven face.
Nadeem Farooq Paracha
Must this with farce and folly rack myhead unpunish'd ? that with sing-song,Whine me dead?
Juvenal
School is a factory where the raw material called student is turned into a product called employee.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Deep sadness is an artist of powers that affects people in different ways. To one it comes like the stroke of an arrow, shocking all the emotions to a sharper life. To another, it comes as the blow of a crushing strike.
Ambrose Bierce
I used to think that size does not count, until I realized that most people either find other people’s faeces more disgusting than a bird’s droppings, or they do not find the latter disgusting at all.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We are not as important to most people as we are to ourselves. As a matter of fact, we are—to most people—not important at all.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The present is an eternal attempt to separate the past from the future.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Carlton, Sydney (1949-), painter and decorator. Those who argue that bestiality should be treated with understanding had a setback in 1998 when Carlton, a married man from Bradford, was sentenced to a year in prison for having intercourse with a Staffordshire bull terrier, named Badger. His defence was that Badger had made the first move. 'I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me,' he told the court. This was not accepted.
William Donaldson
Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband's girlfriend.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Learn whom God has ordered you to be, and in what part of human affairs you have been placed.
Persius
Being in a hurry is the father of stress and worry.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy.
Jonathan Swift
We preoccupy ourselves with what we had — or what we want to have — at the expense of what we have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
As learnèd commentators viewIn Homer more than Homer knew.
Jonathan Swift
Never does Nature say one thing and Wisdom another.
Juvenal
Some couples are married because they fell in love. Some are married because the woman fell pregnant.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The Wit of Cheats, the Courage of a Whore,Are what ten thousand envy and adore:All, all look up, with reverential Awe,At crimes that 'scape, or triumph o'er the Law:While Truth, Worth, Wisdom, daily they decry-`'Nothing is sacred now but Villainy'- Epilogue to the Satires, Dialogue I
Alexander Pope
111 company is like a dog who dirts those most whom he loves best.
Jonathan Swift
Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two.
Ambrose Bierce
Capture your reader, let him not depart, from dull beginnings that refuse to start
Horace
A wedding is a ceremony men fund with money they know they don’t have … to prove the love they think they have.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Very few men properly speaking live at present but are providing to live another time.
Jonathan Swift
Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
Ambrose Bierce
Most people are not really scared of death. They are merely terrified of being taken to a mortuary and/or being buried or cremated and/or being forgotten.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging his superiority whenever we lie to him.
Samuel Butler
You cannot be truly humble, unless you truly believe that life can and will go on without you.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Some people would regard people who look like they do as ugly if they did not look like them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many individuals have like uncut diamonds shining qualities beneath a rough exterior.
Juvenal
Having, then, once introduced an element of inconsistency into his system, he was far too consistent not to be inconsistent consistently, and he lapsed ere long into an amiable indifferentism which to outward appearance differed but little from the indifferentism …
Samuel Butler
Any performer tries to perform music as if for the first time, with all that energy and excitement that comes from discovering a new piece--maybe trying to recreate the memory of falling in love with a piece when hearing it first as a child--and just as people regularly say of a brilliant conductor that they seem to conduct as if recreating the energy an audience must have felt when the piece was first played decades, even centuries, before, so too I think we need to communicate our knowledge with the passion we first encountered as children.
Armando Iannucci
Social networking platforms drove man closer to those in neighboring continents, while driving him further apart from those in his neighborhood.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We think we like or love some people until we see them regularly.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most sexually adventurous women want a man who regards cunnilingus as a basic woman right.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is in the best interest of the rich to preserve poverty.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whatever advice you give be short.
Horace
Loneliness tortures many if not most of the elderly more intensely and more frequently than it torments many if not most of us who will never be or have not yet been pushed or pulled into old age.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
I myself am convinced that the theory of evolution, especially to the extent to which it has been applied, will be one of the greatest jokes in the history books of the future. Posterity will marvel that so very flimsy and dubious an hypothesis could be accepted with the incredible credulity it has.
Malcolm Muggeridge
To put an arrogant 'famous' singer in her place: pretend to be deaf.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Friendship is like money easier made than kept.
Samuel Butler