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Quotes by Satirists - Page 10

There’s a very fine line between being broke and being humble.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So is a lot.
Alexander Pope
Adversity reveals genius prosperity conceals it.
Horace
The older you get, the easier it is for you to distinguish between your friends and people you are not seeing for the first time.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero.(Pluck the day [for it is ripe], trusting as little as possible in tomorrow.)
Horace
In words, as fashions, the same rule will hold;Alike fantastic, if too new, or old:Be not the first by whom the new are tried,Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.
Alexander Pope
To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Ambrose Bierce
Miracles' rely on their observer’s ignorance. 'Perfection' relies on the observer’s failure to notice the observed’s defects.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The death of a billionaire is worth more to the media than the lives of a billion poor people.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Self-employed people work where they live. Entrepreneurs live where they work.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The only real reason that some relationships and marriages have not yet been ended is because in each case one of the partners has not yet found their ideal partner or someone they love or at least like.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Speaking one’s mind once is more honorable than quoting a thousand men.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whenever they are given the choice, some people choose a bath over a shower; they, too, would like to do their bit to waste water.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It is the function of vice to keep virtue within reasonable grounds.
Samuel Butler
If we were not impressed by job titles, suits, and jargon, we would demand that financial advisors show us their personal bank statements before they tell us what we could or should do with our own money.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader’s senses
Steve Aylett
drugs, hard. Under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971, the law was changed in the United Kingdom to ensure that the production and supply of dangerous drugs should henceforth be in the hands of criminal organisations. Some people have argued that this is not an ideal arrangement.
William Donaldson
Generally, men prefer dating women they love over women who love them; women prefer the opposite.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased’s chances of going to hell.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
And he gave it for his opinion that whoever could make two ears of corn or two blades of grass to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before would deserve better of mankind and do more essential service to his country than the whole race of politicians put together.
Jonathan Swift
For I who hold sage Homer's rule the best Welcome the coming speed the going guest.
Alexander Pope
Light quirks of music broken and uneven Make the soul dance upon a jig to Heav'n.
Alexander Pope
If the food that one ate the night before were somehow able to be seen and identified through one’s clothes throughout the day, millions of employees would each fast ten or so days before their payday.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
We sometimes try to impress people we just met by not trying to impress them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Whether it is big or small, the size of a poor man’s yard incessantly reminds him that he is poor.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Opinions of the masses kill the 'extra' in an 'extraordinary' idea.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Responsibility n: A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God Fate Fortune Luck or one's neighbour. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.
Ambrose Bierce
A satirist that criticizes religion is seen as a satanist.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Get place and wealth if possible with grace If not by any means get wealth and place.
Alexander Pope
Many people find bald, unvarnished truths so disturbing, they prefer to ram their heads in the sand and start dreaming at the first sign of scientific reality.
Charlie Brooker
Rich people read their bills. Poor people dread theirs.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Anger is a short madness.
Horace
Some people who have been working out regularly for months or even years are still out of shape because the number of cheat days they have in a week exceeds six.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
People who are not blessed with the ability to make others laugh compensate for that by saying (or trying to say) things that are profound.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
In many cases, it was the woman’s stomach—not her heart—that fell for her man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Give me a scholar, therefore, who is able to think and to write, to look with an eye of discernment into things, and to do business himself, if called upon, who hath both civil and military knowledge; one, moreover, who has been in camps, and has seen armies in the field and out of it; knows the use of arms, and machines, and warlike engines of every kind; can tell what the front, and what the horn is, how the ranks are to be disposed, how the horse is to be directed, and from whence to advance or to retreat; one, in short, who does not stay at home and trust to the reports of others: but, above all, let him be of a noble and liberal mind; let him neither fear nor hope for anything; otherwise he will only resemble those unjust judges who determine from partiality or prejudice, and give sentence for hire: but, whatever the man is, as such let him be described.
Lucian of Samosata
In adversity remember to keep an even mind.
Horace
Some people avoid thinking deeply in public, only because they are afraid of coming across as suicidal.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If we had to earn our age by thinking for ourselves at least once a year, only a handful of people would reach adulthood.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Somebody is born. Somebody goes to school. Somebody learns to conform. Somebody types a CV. Somebody gets a job. Somebody follows orders. Somebody gets a golden watch. And then, eventually, Somebody dies. And, a Nobody is buried.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
High heels are a short (theist) woman's (subconscious) way of telling God to go to hell … in public.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
You praise the firm restraint with which they write - I'm with you there of course: They use the snaffle and the curb all right But where's the bloody horse?
Roy Campbell
I do not mind lying but I hate inaccuracy.
Samuel Butler
There is so much woman in many a girl and too much boy in many a man.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Many are less fortunate than you’ may not be a roof to live under, but it will serve to retire beneath in the event of a shower.
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
He who postpones the hour of living is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses.
Horace
Exploring is delightful to look forward to and back upon, but it is not comfortable at the time, unless it be of such an easy nature as not to deserve the name.
Samuel Butler
If unconventional ideas = sperm, then public opinion = abortion.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
There's a large strain of irony in our human affairs... Interwoven with our affairs is this wonderful spirit of irony which prevents us from ever being utterly and irretrievably serious, from being unaware of the mysterious nature of our existence.
Malcolm Muggeridge
*I’m hustling* is a low self-esteem having man’s way of saying *I’m unemployed,* when answering a seemingly materialistic woman’s question as to what he does for a living.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If after hearing my songs just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or perhaps to strike a loved one it will all have been worth the while.
Tom Lehrer
People care more about being thought to have good taste than about being thought either good clever or amiable.
Samuel Butler
Speaking about work isn’t working.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Your relationship or marriage is dead or dying, if you almost always have to remind your partner to miss you (and/or they almost always have to remind you to miss them).
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Thou shalt not follow someone, merely because they are following you.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The difference is too nice - Where ends the virtue or begins the vice.
Alexander Pope
Fools through false shame conceal their open wounds.
Horace
Ambition is greed without makeup.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
How shall I love the sin yet keep the sense And love the offender yet detest the offence?
Alexander Pope
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