Quotes by Radio Hosts - Page 2

I used to think that kid might become a preacher. Now I don't see how he's going to stay out of prison. Nobody in this family ever went to prison for sex crimes. He'd be the first."Yes," says Jesus, "you never know about these things."He and Grandpa are drinking cups of coffee and eating ginger snaps. Grandpa says, "When are you planning to return to earth?"Soon as I finish this coffee," say Jesus. "Pretty good, isn't it.
Garrison Keillor
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again I'd make the same mistakes only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead
The moment you stop worrying about success is when success will happen.
Glenn Beck
The Union is what needs defending this year. Government of Enron and by Halliburton and for the Southern Baptists is not the same as what Lincoln spoke of. This gang of Republicans has humbugged us to death on terrorism and tax cuts for the comfy and school prayer and flag burning and claimed the right to know what books we read and to dump their sewage upstream from the rest of us and clear-cut the forests and gut the IRS and promote the corporate takeover of the public airwaves and to hell with anybody who opposes them.
Garrison Keillor
We’re naked under our clothes; we both know what it’s like to need to fart and hold it in, or not be able to get a hard-on, or worry that a bloke across the room might be looking at your bird and you might have to fight him but he looks well hard.
Russell Brand
For believers, there is much more to existence than simply passing out of one world and into another.
Van Harden
They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love something to do and something to hope for.
Tom Bodett
I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.
Fred Allen
To become successful, one must put themselves in the paths of giants!
Lillian Cauldwell
Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.
Garrison Keillor
One of the hardest-to-swallow, most countercultural, counter intuitive implications of the gospel is that bearing up under a difficult burden with patient perseverance is a good thing.
Brant Hansen
There have only been two geniuses in the world — Willie Mays and Willie Shakespeare.
Tallulah Bankhead
let anyone using those weasel words “freedom of worship” know, they have “freedom of worship” in China and it is meaningless and it is vile. “Freedom of worship” says you may do what you like in that building on Sunday mornings or whenever you like, but when you come out you will bow to the secular orthodoxy of the state. That is the antithesis of what the Founders meant in guaranteeing “freedom of religion.
Eric Metaxas
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children - except in self-defense.
Fred Allen
Equality, as understood by the American Founders, is the natural right of every individual to live freely under self-government, to acquire and retain the property he creates through his own labor, and to be treated impartially before a just law. Moreover, equality should not be confused with perfection, for man is also imperfect, making his application of equality, even in the most just society, imperfect. Otherwise, inequality is the natural state of man in the sense that each individual is born unique in all his human characteristics. Therefore, equality and inequality, properly comprehended, are both engines of liberty.
Mark R. Levin
I will gladly deal with the inconveniences that may attend living my life as I see fit, rather than be the kind of man who would forsake his own desires in order to seek or preserve the acceptance of lesser men.~ Dave Champion
Dave Champion
The tantrums of cloth-headed celluloid idols are deemed fit for grown-up conversation, while silence settles over such a truly important matter as food.
Clifton Fadiman
Describing current human mindsets reflecting our ignorance and cowardice and non action-oriented mentality:"I'm going to do nothing but escapist drugs and hop from one party or festival to another. I will dance my way out of the harsh realities of Planet Earth.
Mark Passio
If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about yourmistakes, learn from them.
Charles J. Sykes
If we want to be endowed with rights – real human rights, we have to act with responsibility. We must not be comfortable with rights. We must be comfortable with responsibility.
Glenn Beck
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor
“A goal without a plan is just a wish.”
Larry Elder
Err, sorry Father Abbot. I tripped y'see. Trod on my Abbot, Father Habit. Oh dear, I mean....
Brian Jacques
Life isn't all about money but this life is nothing without it!
Wayne Dupree
Companies' motives to make profit means they neglect inherent social or moral values.
Russell Brand
I had treated my temporary earthly problems so emotionally and seriously that they became major energy zappers, brain drains, and heart breakers. I knew I was a Christian living in this world, but things didn’t really sink in until the concept of the purple wedge made me ‘see’ it and put things into perspective.
Van Harden
Where is it written in the Constitution that because a guy played football, he has the automatic right to sit in that booth? How hard is football? If I've spent thirty-five years as a sportswriter, you think I don't know you get six for a touchdown? You think I don't know that? You think I don't know you get three for a field goal? C'mon, c'mon. And I can actually speak English okay, so that would be a difference between me and a guy who spent his whole life playing football. Now, not all of them are like that, but it's that thinking that says, "We have divine right of booth." No, you don't. No you don't.
Tony Kornheiser
The notion that writings created at a time when men huddled in superstitious terror from an eclipse can possibly be a credible representation of the Creator (whatever that word means to each person) is so absurd as to border on delusional.
Dave Champion
We are stuck on the obvious of this world, and it so fills our minds and our beings that there is little room for anything else, even if that "obvious" is merely a small part of what is real.
Van Harden
Even if your company’s financial condition can withstand the inefficiency of quality service, your brand likely won’t.
Jim Blasingame
There is no better exercise for your heart than reaching down and helping to lift someone up
Bernard Meltzer
We spent 10 years writing our first fiction story and truly hope people like it.
Tony D'Urso
I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
Tallulah Bankhead
By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.
Russell Brand
Religion is a subject which, if the believers used the same "reasoning" to address problems at work as they use to defend their beliefs, they'd soon find themselves unemployed. And if they found their child applying that kind of "reasoning" on a homework assignment they'd wonder what the hell was the wrong with their child.
Dave Champion
A personality for the incredibly beautiful can be a pointless cargo...
Russell Brand
My modus operandi is that I'll be content with anything, as long as I know that it's the best that's possible.
Russell Brand
I recognize that I have the ability to be selfish, but I also recognize that you can't be happy if you only care about yourself at the expense of other people.
Russell Brand
It’s true, though, others won’t understand me. I know that. I’m still an alien in the American Christian subculture.Each evening I retreat from it, and I go straight to the Gospels.It's not out of duty that I read about Jesus; it's a respite.
Brant Hansen
Being famous is like a little bit of you is taken away and goes off and lives on its own and does what it wants... I wish it would do more interesting things!
Russell Brand
The woman of my dreams. The woman of my nightmares. Everything good and bad about my life. The “I do” that “I didn’t.
Chris Fabry
Remember, as a believer, you are already in God’s kingdom, even if you are still standing on this earth.
Van Harden
The cakes and pies and casseroles beckoned like gastronomic sirens, and there was no one to lash me to the mast.
Chris Fabry
Interestingly, one mate of mine, a proper leftie, in his heyday all Red Wedge and right-on punch-ups, was melancholy. "I thought I'd be overjoyed, but really it's just … another one bites the dust …" This demonstrates, I suppose, that if you opposed Thatcher's ideas it was likely because of their lack of compassion, which is really just a word for love. If love is something you cherish, it is hard to glean much joy from death, even in one's enemies.
Russell Brand
The entirety of his life to this point had merely been to prepare him for what he was to do next: bring hope to the hopeless and joy to the joyless. He would serve mankind by reminding them every year that a King had been born who had died for thier sins.
Glenn Beck
Do not try to make the Bible relevant. Its relevance is axiomatic. Do not defend God's word, but testify to it. Trust to the Word. It is a ship loaded to the very limits of its capacity. -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Eric Metaxas
We must sober up and admit that too many of the Republicans and the Democrats have played us, lied to us and stolen from us, while the getaway car was driven by the media. A media that can no longer claim with a straight face the role of journalist. Journalists print the things the powerful don’t want printed. What they do is public relations. Those PR firms will not print the truth about the average American who finds himself concerned with the direction of our country today. So we must. We are not violent. We are not racist. We are not anti immigrant. We are not anti-government. And we will not be silent anymore.
Glenn Beck
Religion is the most fragile of all freedoms. And that’s because it is the most threatening to those in power.
Eric Metaxas
Nobody expects you to understand the mind of God or know why he would love us in the midst of our weaknesss and sin.
Glenn Beck
She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.
Fred Allen
Many today insist that music is amoral, that there is nothing innately good or bad about music itself. They say it is neutral, and only its use determines whether it is good or evil. To a degree this is true, but in a very real way music ceases to be neutral the moment those little black-and-white notes begin to be woven together to produce a certain combinations of sounds that result in the message or world-view that the composer of the music wants to get across. The music itself becomes a statement, even when words are not attached to its message.
Ron Owens
Every interaction in the marketplace produces some kind of evaluation or appraisal opportunity that can be conveyed to others by the person on the receiving end of the interaction.
Jim Blasingame
Men may make progress, but man never changes. Man loves power and money. No matter the skin color, religion or income level. These symbols of our nation make men drunk with power, who then justify their lust for more by claiming they are public servants.
Glenn Beck
I’ve heard it said many times when talking about going to heaven, ‘You can’t take it with you.’ It’s true that you cannot take with you your house, car, money, or other things you have valued here on earth, but how about your husband, wife, parents, children, friends, and acquaintances? You personally will never be able to get someone into heaven, but God certainly can use you as a tool to spread the good news as He brings more people to Himself.
Van Harden
I can see how I could write a bold account of myself as a passionate man who rose from humble beginnings to cut a wide swath in the world, whose crimes along the way might be written off to extravagance and love and art, and could even almost believe some of it myself on certain days after the sun went down if I’d had a snort or two and was in Los Angeles and it was February and I was twenty-four, but I find a truer account in the Herald-Star, where it says: “Mr. Gary Keillor visited at the home of Al and Florence Crandall on Monday and after lunch returned to St. Paul, where he is currently employed in the radio show business… Lunch was fried chicken with gravy and creamed peas”.
Garrison Keillor
I think one of the things that has always stopped me from truly leaning into my fears is that I'm not always sure whether my dreams line up well with God's plan for my life. I might be willing to take a leap of faith if I was sure that God wanted me to leap.
Hallie Lord
One's first book kiss home run is always the best.
Clifton Fadiman
There are 1.6 billion Muslims in the world. If, for the sake of argument, 1 million are violent, that's a mere .000625 percent of them. I wonder who among you wants to be judged on such a tiny minority. Further, at 1.6 billion, if all Muslims - or even most Muslims - were violent, the world would already be in flames. Most people simply want to live their lives in peace, with some degree of material comfort. I find it bizarre - and disturbing - that so many Americans imagine that being a Muslim somehow trumps human nature and makes ordinary simple people want to rise up and kill everyone. That takes a special kind of stupid.
Dave Champion
And then I stand in front of God's Throne squinting up at His blazing glory and He says, 'You had your opportunities, boy. But did you listen? No. You went on heedlesly reading that garbagey magazine with pictures of naked girls in it. How juvenile! I gave geese more sense than that.'Please, God. I'm only fourteen years old. A teenager. Have mercy. Be loving.I was,' says God. 'For eons. And look at what it got me. You.'God turns in disgust, just the way Daddy does. 'Sorry, but I'm the Creator. I take it personally. There are slugs and bugs and night-crawlers I feel better about having created - I mean, there are sparrows - I've got my eye on one right now. Is that sparrow consumed with lust? No. He mates in the spring and that's the end of it. Consider the lilies. Do they think about lily tits all the time? No. They look not and they lust not, and yet I say unto you that you will never be half as attractive as they. Therefore, I say unto you, think not about peckers and boobs and all that nonsense and your Heavenly Father will see that you meet a good woman and marry her, just as I do for the sparrow and walleye - yea verily, even the night-crawler and the eelpout. But I've told you this over and over for nineteen centuries. And now, verily, it's too late. Time's up, buster. Lights out! Game's over!
Garrison Keillor
A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.
Garrison Keillor