Quotes by Counselors - Page 7

A man’s beliefs about the effects of the substance will largely be borne out. If he believes that alcohol can make him aggressive, it will, as research has shown. On the other hand, if he doesn’t attribute violence-causing powers to substances, he is unlikely to become aggressive even when severely intoxicated.
Lundy Bancroft
You are silent now who once stood on battlefields ravaged by destruction unimaginable, holding in those desperate places the line of freedom for others you would never know, and who would never know you. And being one of those you never knew, I would give all I have to clasp your hand one single time, look into eyes that witnessed the bloodied carnage that results when freedom refuses to bow to chains of any kind, and simply say 'thank you.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming they are second best, not enough. This is a painful realization so often they hide behind righteous arrogance.
David W. Earle
Your relationships will take you beyond the boundaries of your normal strength. Encouragement gives struggling people eyes to see the unseen Christ.
Timothy S. Lane
If I so much as dare to intimately probe the reflection I see in the mirror, I am filled with the tormenting fear that I might be repulsed. God invites us to boldly probe the reflection in the mirror so that we might be released.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
We are so used to our own history, we do not see it as remarkable or out of the ordinary, whereas others might see it as horrendous. Further, we tend to minimize that which we feel shameful about.
Patrick J. Carnes
We need to remember how what Christ has already done transforms who we are right now -- not later, once we get it together but right now in all the messes we've made.
Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
You would not ask someone with a broken arm to swim the English Channel, so you cannot demand that the broken to live as if they were whole.
John Eldredge
Although it would lead me to believe otherwise, fear has little interest in intimidating me. Rather, it much prefers to enslave me.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
For what shall we do when we wake one day to find we have lost touch with our heart and with it the very refuge where God’s presence resides? a
John Eldredge
When I looked at myself through the prism of awareness, great tears came as I connected with how this wounded child felt.
David W. Earle
The world screams, ‘Stay down, it’s safer.’ My soul screams, ‘So is being dead.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Doing life without God is not doing life.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I would much prefer to enlarge your life by giving you the gift of my life, rather than gifting your life to material obesity with frivolous trinkets.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
One of a mother’s greatest gifts is to teach her child that to grow is not to timidly sit on some safe shore at water’s edge and clumsily grab whatever happens to float by. Rather, it is to deliberately step into waters both calm and turbulent in order to wrestle great things to shore. And that lesson can be best taught by a mother who stands before her child dripping wet.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The yardstick that we frequently use to determine if something can be restored is based on the handful of inches that we bring to the process, when God shows up with an infinite amount of miles.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Most often, what I don’t know will have a vastly greater bearing on my life that what I do know.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Perfectionism is slow death.
Hugh Prather
One of the great wonders of Christianity is that you were born into your times, to set your times aright.
John Eldredge
Only then can I fly.Only then can I be free -when Ilet go of me.
David W. Earle
Sometimes consequences are building blocks fashioned of granite when successes are shaped of clay.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Maybe it’s a whole lot less about focusing on the fact that we’re all victims and a whole lot more about the changing the fact that we’re all careless, as that is what victimized all of us in the first place.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The best I can do is to ‘pretend’ that I’m my own god. But in the pretending I have to pretend that I’m not pretending, and somehow that doesn’t sound very god-like to me.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The present is too often squandered grieving the past or fearing the future, which makes the present nothing more than a cheap facsimile of what was or what will be instead of what it could be.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
My worth is not based on the ‘work of my hands’ despite how feverishly I might work and how audaciously successful I might be. Rather, my worth is based exclusively on the astonishing fact that I am the ‘work of God’s hands.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
It is possible that our present-day discussion about needs might be framed more by secular psychological theories than by Scripture. If this is so, we should be careful about saying, "Jesus meets all our needs." At first, this has a plausible biblical ring to it. Christ _is_a friend; God _is_ a loving Father; Christians _do_ experience a sense of meaningfulness and confidence in knowing God's love. It makes Christ the answer to our problems. Yet if our use of the term "needs" is ambiguous, and its range of meaning extends all the way to selfish desires, then there will be some situations where we should say that Jesus does not intend to meet our needs, but that he intends to change our needs.
Edward T. Welch
I would surmise that we must cherish the resources that God has given us to achieve a goal more than we cherish the goal itself. For if we fall victim to the pursuit of the goal alone, then the goal has suddenly become our god.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Real accomplishments do virtually nothing to serve me and they do everything to serve others. Anything less is nothing more than a meaningless task dressed in the deceptive finery of accomplishments.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
When Sherri asks questions about who would find me if I killed myself and what their reaction would be, I think that whoever knew me would be sad. But then everybody would get over it. I would fade away. I don't think I'm that important to anyone. Nobody's opinion about me killing myself would stop me from doing it.
Albert Borris
Directing praise to oneself is to cash in on the ego in order to bankrupt the soul.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Intelligence and wisdom are certainly compatible, however they are rarely seen in each other’s company.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I am so often the architect of my own pain and the engineer of my own failures.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Abuse grows from attitudes and values, not feelings. The roots are ownership, the trunk is entitlement, and the branches are control.
Lundy Bancroft
Sometimes we are so caught up in the disappointment of plans gone astray that we fail to recognize the potentially new options that might now exist.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
To judge someone is to say that I have the right to define who they are, verses understanding that God has handed me the priceless privilege of discovering who they are.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
You say you just want to be my friend. I know that you mean you want to relate to my mind but not my body. I can understand that and will not ask you to relate to me in a way that you don't want to, or talk to me about subjects you find uncomfortable. But likewise I refuse to castrate myself for you by pretending not to have the feelings I have. If you want me as your friend you will have to accept my penis along with me.
Hugh Prather
Consider how challenging it is to negotiate or compromise with a man who operates on the following tenets (whether or not he ever says them aloud):1. “An argument should only last as long as my patience does. Once I’ve had enough, the discussion is over and it’s time for you to shut up.”2. “If the issue we’re struggling over is important to me, I should get what I want. If you don’t back off, you’re wronging me.”3. “I know what is best for you and for our relationship. If you continue disagreeing with me after I’ve made it clear which path is the right one, you’re acting stupid.”4. “If my control and authority seem to be slipping, I have the right to take steps to reestablish the rule of my will, including abuse if necessary.”The last item on this list is the one that most distinguishes the abuser from other people: Perhaps any of us can slip into having feelings like the ones in numbers one through three, but the abuser gives himself permission to take action on the basis of his beliefs. With him, the foregoing statements aren’t feelings; they are closely held convictions that he uses to guide his actions. That is why they lead to so much bullying behavior.
Lundy Bancroft
To be an end in myself is to bring an end to myself.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Today I must look in the mirror and be thankful for the person who I find staring back at me. For although the reflection is terribly imperfect, and I know that full well, God created it with enough room that one day it would be perfect. And if there is nothing else I can find to be thankful for, let me begin here.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
When trapped in a constant state of negative over-stimulation, anxiety becomes the norm in our lives. From the book: Removing Your Shame Label
Eddie Capparucci
I've been asked by lots of people, "What happens if you do kill yourself?" They want to know about what it would be like for other people around you, like the person who would find your body, the other kids at school, whoever would have to clean up the blood, what your family holidays would be like.
Albert Borris
Five of the most dangerous words I know: ‘What’s in it for me?
Craig D. Lounsbrough
It’s not about the elimination of fear. Rather it’s about the elimination of the feeling that the elimination of fear is necessary before we take the next step.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
One sure way I can avoid facing myself is by refusing to look into the face of God.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The years have simply reconciled us to the fact that we are all here for the transformation.
John Eldredge
To fully understand how utterly amazing we really are we must first understand all of the things about us that are not, and then we must make our habitation where they are not.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Ego is borne of the need to ‘prove’ oneself instead of making the choice to ‘be’ oneself. And so maybe we need to begin curbing the birthrate.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Tomorrow’ is the thing that’s always coming but never arrives. ‘Today’ is the thing that’s already here and never leaves. And because that’s the case, I would much prefer to invest in today than sit around waiting for an arrival that’s not arriving.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Real, lasting closure is never secured through retribution or retaliation.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Life is not about getting everything right, as much as it’s about working to live right.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I suppose that one of my greatest problem lays in the fact that I have assumed a blessing to be something that is mine for the taking, verses being something that by sheer exposure to it takes me.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If I’m chasing the wrong thing, what I’m chasing will end up chasing me. And in the end, I’m less likely to be the one doing the catching.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
-He drives recklessly or speeds up when he’s angry.-He punches walls or kicks doors.-He throws things around, even if they don’t hit you.
Lundy Bancroft
We tend to deny our humanity because in accepting the fullness of it, we would need to confess how little we’ve done with it.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Scripture assumes that we will be afraid and anxious sometimes. What is important is where we turn, or to whom we turn when we are afraid. The God who calls you to trust in Him when you are afraid will spend a great deal of time showing you that you can trust Him.
Edward T. Welch
Every moment that I am centered in the future I suffer a temporary loss of this life.
Hugh Prather
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Ethics are the things that say, 'Don’t stick your finger in the socket.' The world says, 'It’s okay because we’ve shut off the electricity.' And at the point that we’ve chosen to listen to the world and ignore our ethics, we say, 'I’m having a really hard time getting back up.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
However far I’ve come, it’s probably somewhere less than halfway of where I could be if I simply believed in myself.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
There is no greater place for damage (than marriage) because there is no greater place for glory.
John Eldredge