Quotes by Counselors - Page 12

To assume that I can even begin to chart a ‘straight’ path is probably the best way I can take myself ‘straight’ to the very place I don’t want to go.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Surrender is a choice, it is never a calling.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Everything that isn't gospel is law. Let us say it again: Everything that isn't gospel is law. Every way we try to make our kids good that isn't rooted in the good news of the life, death, ressurection, and assension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law. We won't get the results we want from the law. We'll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both (frequently from the same kid on the same day!). We'll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down on others (and could easily become Mormons), or you'll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can't wait to get out of the house. We have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, the law is given for one reason only: to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ.
Elyse M. Fitzpatrick
If I am not at 'peace', then I can be altogether confident that I've placed a larger 'piece' of myself in the hands of someone other than God.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Shame is a powerful feeling. There is a tremendous difference between making a mistake and believing you are a mistake...If I don’t see myself as being a mistake then it is I who must take responsibility and I am not ready to accept that.
David W. Earle
We recklessly attempt to disguise our ‘greed’ by dressing it in the garb of other nobler ideals such as ‘rights’ and ‘privileges.’ Yet, if we dare dress ‘greed’ in an authentic sense of thankfulness, greed will suffocate within the folds of that very clothing.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If we’ve somehow become convinced that the script we followed ‘yesterday’ can’t be edited, it will be incredibly difficult to tell the difference between ‘yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Timeless principles never age, and truth is as young as the day it was spoken into existence.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The more dysfunctional, the more some family members seek to control the behavior of others.
David W. Earle
To avail yourself of His certain wisdom ask of Him whatever questions you have. But do not entreat Him for that will never be necessary.
Hugh Prather
I thought myself sufficiently shrewd to make whatever decisions I wanted to make, and then to be able to sufficiently steer those decisions away from the rather dark and nasty places they would naturally take me. And I stand oddly perplexed that suddenly everything around me is dark and nasty.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I often ask to what place I am running, for if I am unable to identify that place it is likely that I am running in a circle of the most circular sort.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The common theme of common sense is that it’s commonly rejected as uncommonly demanding.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The more history and commitment that develop in the couple, the more the abuser comes to think of his partner as a prized object. Possessiveness is at the core of the abuser’s mindset, the spring from which all the other streams spout; on some level he feels that he owns you and therefore has the right to treat you as he sees fit.
Lundy Bancroft
Sadly, it seems that I have the proclivity to create plenty of devils, but most of the time I don’t even go looking for angels.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I want to stand on the truth that God has designed us to stand, and that the opportunity to stand is the opportunity to live exuberantly and gloriously.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
It’s thinking that I had the solution that probably created the problem in the first place.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The anticipation of loss is much more frightening than the actual loss as anticipation leaves room for the imagination to create that which, in all likelihood, will never transpire.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Things that are truly great need nothing from me, and to somehow think that they do speaks to my utter lack of greatness.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Ignorance is my refusal to think outside the box of my fears.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
I wasn't mean; I wasn't evil. I was nice. And let me tell you, a hesitant man is the last thing in the world a woman needs. She needs a lover and a warrior, not a Really Nice Guy.
John Eldredge
Raw power without Godly obedience is a long walk off a short conscience.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
For example, I can doubt that 2 + 2 = 4; however, my doubting does not change the equation. When I test out that formula and find that it is true, then that becomes my reality. How can anything become real until it is tested in the crucible of doubt?
David W. Earle
Rights’ are ‘privileges,’ and if I am arrogant enough to demand the former without respecting the latter I will lose both.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Talk like an ambassador (Eph 4:29-30). 1)Consider the person ("only what is helpful for building others up")2) Consider the problem ("according to their needs")3) Consider the process ("that it may benefit those who listen")
Timothy S. Lane
We will understand the depth of our vision when at some point we are finally faced with the price we must pay to achieve it. And when the price comes calling, most visions end up falling.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
To realize your potential you must look beyond the end of yourself, realizing that where you end is most likely where you actually begin.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The assumption is that if I expend myself for myself in the end all I’ll be left with is myself, and that alone is frightening. But what I’ve failed to consider is that I have to expend so much of myself living for myself that in the end I’m really left with very little of myself, and that is unimaginably frightening.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
True peace cannot be found in a ‘place’. Rather, it is found in a Person who can be with you in any ‘place’.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
When you wear a mask, you are not real.
David W. Earle
If I simply look at the map that I’ve so tediously created, it will explain why I’m laying at the bottom of this cliff looking up.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Failure is not the deterrent for the next try. Rather, it is information that empowers the next step.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If I can somehow focus on the pain of not focusing on my pain, I will soon find that pain healed simply because I forced myself to do the exact opposite of what my core humanity demanded I do…I sought to heal the pain of someone else instead.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Every tomorrow is an outcome of what I do today, and the beauty of it all is that today is happening all the time.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Faith is rare because fear is rampant. For faith will demand that I step into places that fear itself fears to go.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If my goal is simply to survive the journey, then I’m not on the journey in the first place.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The love of Christ for me will get last say. He is merciful to me for his name’s sake, for the sake of his own goodness, for the sake of his steadfast love and compassion (Psalm 25). When he thinks about me, he remembers what he is like, and that is my exceeding joy. My indestructible hope is that he has turned his face towards me, and he will never turn away.
David A. Powlison
Love in the service of self is greed in disguise.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Maybe my greater fear should not be fear itself, but what I will lose should I submit to fear.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
However, sexual anorexics do have a definite profile that separates them from the larger population of those having difficulty being sexual: They are often extremely competent people who are committed to doing things very well and have a fear of making mistakes and being human.
Patrick J. Carnes
God is after the bigger picture of your life. He is writing your story. I'm about to say something that may seem antithetical to this book, but need you to hear this: your story has far more to do with finding God's unique calling and purpose for your life than it does with finding the love of your life.
Debra Fileta
In the case of our fair maiden, we have overlooked two very crucial aspects to that myth. On the one hand, none of us ever really believed the sorcerer was real. We thought we could have the maiden without a fight. Honestly, most of us guys thought our biggest battle was asking her out. And second, we have not understood the tower and its relationship to her wound; the damsel is in distress. If masculinity has come under assault, femininity has been brutalized. Eve is the crown of creation, remember? She embodies the exquisite beauty and the exotic mystery of God in a way that nothing else in all creation even comes close to. And so she is the special target of the Evil One; he turns his most vicious malice against her. If he can destroy her or keep her captive, he can ruin the story.
John Eldredge
At the very point that I’ve taken something for granted, I have at that same moment taken it to its grave. And if I look around, I realize I’ve cultivated quite a cemetery.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
It’s not so much about the cards you’re dealt; it’s a whole lot more about whether you play them well, or play them at all.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Self-preservation is to hunker down in the suffocating confines of this infinitesimally tiny existence that I define as ‘me,’ instead of letting ‘me’ run through the infinitely massive expanse of everything that is not me. And if the beast of self-preservation does not permit such freedoms, I will preserve myself to my own death.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If you want to completely destroy a child, all you have to do is mold them into your vision of what you want them to be. If you want to completely liberate a child, all you have to do is grow them into the person they were created to be. The former cannot see God in the child. The latter can see nothing less.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Black and white thinking limits understanding and feedback, two necessary ingredients for successful resolution in creative conflict and successful understanding.
David W. Earle
There was a moment when any hope within me froze solid and I was finally emptied of all energy to fight the cold. And at the very point of that very surrender, when I became convinced that I must bow to a world that would be forever frigid, God cupped the hands of my soul and poured in the warmth of Christmas.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Possibly the most debilitating deception of all is to create a god of my own making, fool myself into believing that this limp god of mine is the true God, and then construct the entirety of my life on this flamboyantly fictional character. Possibly the most devastating realization of all is when the real God shows up, and in the showing up all of this come crashing down.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
In other words, children's choices are their responsibility, and result from how they decide to meet their own needs. Once you understand this, you can learn to stop interpreting their choices as statements about you. When your kids act weird in front of the in-laws, it is about their choices, not about your value as a person. Grace-full in-laws will already know that. You need to know that too. Otherwise, you will parent to fix your kids, so that when they are fixed, you are fixed. You will parent to control, not to serve. How things look and what people think will become more important than what is real.
Jeff VanVonderen
Sometimes what is said to be a gift may appear more of a curse only because the greatest gifts of all are the gifts that have enough disruptive force to break us out of everything that’s breaking us. And God loves us far too much not to give us exactly those kinds of gifts.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Minutes remain the same length whether they are held against the span of years or minutes themselves. Yet, when minutes are held against themselves, they seem so terribly brief. Therefore, we’d be wise to celebrate life before minutes are all that’s left.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Many of our efforts to intentionally craft and subsequently force our limited vision on life has more often than not resulted in some degree of cataclysm or schism or division or any number of other things that aren’t all that savory.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Egos clash. That's the nature of egos.Treat these outbursts as sneezing fits.
Hugh Prather
Sometimes things that appear completely irreconcilable and mutually exclusive serve a shared purpose that could not be achieved except through their contradiction.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
The extent of God’s grace always eclipses the extent of my grotesqueness. Therefore, I can never be bad enough for God to tell me that He’s had enough.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
It’s not that I’ve been invited to the hole I’m standing in. It’s that I accepted the invitation.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
If I’m perplexed by the fact that I’m constantly lost, maybe somewhere in my head I’ve determined that being lost serves a greater purpose than being found.
Craig D. Lounsbrough
Others hide from being real by filling the air with words; the more words they throw out, the less actual communication happens and they are left with only an illusion of connection. This is the intimacy they so ardently seek but with these coping skills find so elusive.
David W. Earle
We incessantly vacillate between what’s behind us and what’s before us depending on the current barometer of our courage and the ambivalent nature of our vision.
Craig D. Lounsbrough