Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 5

I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
Kin Hubbard
I forgot what I was going to think.
Brian Spellman
All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
James Thurber
Just remember, when you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.
Charles M. Schulz
Nowadays, ads don't just sell a product. They sell an attitude! Look at this one! Here's a cool guy saying nobody tells him what to do. He does whatever he wants and he buys this product as a reflection of that independence. So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection?
Bill Watterson
If we suggest that it is okay to make fun of everything except certain aspects of Islam because Muslims are much more sensitive than the rest of the population, isn’t that discrimination? Shouldn’t we treat the second-largest religion in France, exactly as we treat the first? It’s time to put an end to the revolting paternalism of the white, middle-class, “leftist” intellectual trying to coexist with these “poor, subliterate wretches.” “'I’m' educated; obviously I get that 'Charlie Hebdo' is a humor newspaper because, first, I’m very intelligent, and second, it’s my culture. But you—well, you haven’t quite mastered nuanced thinking yet, so I’ll express my solidarity by fulminating against Islamaphobic cartoons and pretending not to understand them. I will lower myself to your level to show you that I like you. And if I need to convert to Islam to get even closer to you, I’ll do it!” These pathetic demagogues just have a ravenous need for recognition and a formidable domination fantasy to fulfil.
Charb
What happened yesterday was obviously a mistake, and it will never be spoken of again. Goodbye forever.
Faith Erin Hicks
Spare the rod and spoil the Memorial Day rotisserie.
Brian Spellman
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.It could be, perhaps his shoes were too tight.But I think that the most likely reason of allMay have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Dr. Seuss
When the heartIs cut or cracked or brokenDo not clutch itLet the wound lie openLet the windFrom the good old sea blow inTo bathe the wound with saltAnd let it sting.Let a stray dog lick itLet a bird lean in the hole and singA simple song like a tiny bellAnd let it ringLet it go.Let it out.Let it all unravel.Let it free and it can beA path on which to travel.
Michael Leunig
I'm all groan up in America.
Brian Spellman
A horrible end is better than endless horror.
Oliver Markus
We have this history of impossible solutions to insoluble problems.
Will Eisner
To answer your question as honestly as I can, I've wanted since I was very little to not have to worry about money. I've never been poverty-level poor (I mean, there's been years where I've been officially beneath the poverty line, but that wasn't poverty: that was being a student and living the Student Lifestyle), but I've been in a place where you know you can't afford a better-quality food, where you can't do certain things because of money, and I'd prefer not to have those problems if I can. I sort of have troubles with money in general, with how it determines so much of our lives but with how we all try to ignore it, but I would like to be (and stay) in a place where I can pick up some new comics and games and not worry about how much they cost.This is terrible; you're asking me where I want to be in the future, what I want my life to be like, and the only thing I can tell you is "Man, all I know is I don't want to be POOR.
Ryan North
It was not a triumphal return. Home, as I had known it, was gone.
Alison Bechdel
It's like killing each other is the only thing we know how to do.
Faith Erin Hicks
For once, it seems there’s nothing to worry about…… for the time
Nick Abadzis
Society doesn't officially recognize friendship as an institution in the way it recognizes sexual relationships, so there's no real protocol for ending one. If you've been going out, dating, or just sleeping with someone for even a month or two an you want to stop seeing him, you're expected to have a conversation with him letting him know it and giving him some bogus explanation. This conversation is seldom pleasant, and it ranges in tone from brittle adult adult discussions in coffee shops to armed standoffs in day care centers, but once it's over, you at least know your status.Because there's no formal etiquette for ending a friendship, most people do it in the laziest, most passive and painless way possible, by unilaterally dropping any effort to sustain it and letting the other person figure it out for themselves.
Tim Kreider
Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up.Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.
Bryan Lee O'Malley
Ultimate meaning is meaningless. Meaning meaning means everything else.
Brian Spellman
I'm a misunderstood genius.""What's misunderstood?""Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
Bill Watterson
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That's why events are always reinterpreted when values change. We need new versions of history to allow for our current prejudices.
Bill Watterson
If you sense so badly that you also sense a need to make me sense that, then I sense sadly that you cannot make better sense ... sadder still if you cannot sense my sincerity.
Brian Spellman
Art suffers the moment other people start paying for it.
Hugh MacLeod
Oh my dear! Peace is something we all create together! No one person gets to take credit for it! That's the whole point! Each person matters equally. Every heart radiates a center of joy. In this way we learn to care for our world by understanding our responsibility to one another and to ourselves!
Ron Regé Jr.
I wish people were more like animals. Animals don't try to change you or make you fit in. They just enjoy the pleasure of your company. Animals aren't conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you're sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
Bill Watterson
Good things you have to make happen. Bad things happen all by themselves.
Oliver Gaspirtz
I have always thought of a dog lover as a dog that was in love with another dog.
James Thurber
What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?
Charles M. Schulz
All The Woulda-Coulda-ShouldasLayin' In The Sun,Talkin' 'Bout The ThingsThey Woulda-Coulda-Shoulda Done...But All Those Woulda-Coulda-ShouldasAll Ran Away And HidFrom One Little Did.
Shel Silverstein
When beetles fight these battles in a bottle with their paddles and the bottle's on a poodle and the poodle's eating noodles......they call this a muddle puddle tweetle poodle beetle noodle bottle paddle battle.
Dr. Seuss
Although I'm an atheist, I try not to crap all over people's belief in God. It may be nothing more than a placebo, a fairy tale that gives the hopeless hope, but sometimes a little hope is all people need to get through the day. Imagine a unit of soldiers under heavy enemy fire. They are told by their superiors to hold their position, even in the face of overwhelming fire power. The soldiers are being told that reinforcements are on the way, and that thought alone gives them the hope and courage to continue fighting, even if ultimately the reinforcements never arrive. I think some people simply need to believe that God is sending them reinforcements, to get through another day.
Oliver Gaspirtz
To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems
Matt Groening
Maybe the best things are those that take the most work, you know? Maybe how you get somewhere can be at least as important as where you're going.
Ryan North
Take no duty of the Guard lightly. Friends must not be enemies Just as enemies must not be friends.Discerning the two is a life's work.
David Petersen
By the early-afternoon hours, if your brain is normal, it's running strictly on inertia and reflex. All you can do during those hours are the things that are exactly like other things you've done in similar situations. Creativity is out of the question. You might argue that you don't notice any difference in your thinking during the afternoon. That's because you're too dazed to notice anything during those hours. I'm sure it's true for me; I believe you could set my eyebrows on fire during the afternoon and I wouldn't notice until sometime the next morning.
Scott Adams
At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
Bill Watterson
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Bill Watterson
If you manage to make it to some semblance of adulthood, just showing up turns out to be one of the kindest, most selfless things you can do for someone.
Tim Kreider
I think I've discovered the secret of life -- you just hang around until you get used to it.
Charles M. Schulz
Calvin: Dear Santa, before I submit life to your scrutiny, I demand to know who made YOU the matter of my fate?! Who are YOU to question my behavior, HUH??? What gives you the right?! Hobbes: Santa makes the toys, so he gets to decide who to give them to.Calvin: Oh.
Bill Watterson
All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from and to and why.
James Thurber
Gilded palace of Flying BurritosExcellent Nouveau Mexican CuisineWe all got to wear Swank-Ass Nudie SuitsI should have known it was a lousy pipe dreamOhhh, Ohhh, what an awesome jobOhhh, Ohhh, what do I do now??Ohh, Ohhhhh, it's like I've been robbedSpent the last of my paychequeAnd I'm feelin' pretty downnnnn!!
Bryan Lee O'Malley
You can never really trust someone who remembers every embarrassing detail of your adolescence.
Daniel Clowes
I say if a novelty Christmas song is funny one time, then it is funny every time. - Calvin
Bill Watterson
A journalist who says, 'Well, I pissed off both sides--I must be doing something right,' is probably fooling himself and, worse, he may be fooling the reader. Balance should not be a smokescreen for laziness.
Joe Sacco
Maybe we can eventually make language a complete impediment to understanding.
Bill Watterson
The more you read the more places you will go,the more places you go the more things you will learn.
Dr. Seuss
God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is 'sposed to be a happy time.
Bil Keane
It's kind of like... It's kind of like playin' a basketball game. I am there and the other player is there, and it's just the two of us and I put the other player's body in my van. And I am the winner.
Chris Onstad
Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is that adding a bunch of bad-sounding ideas together creates something incredible that is far more good than bad. Capitalism inspires people to work hard, to take reasonable risks, and to create value for customers. On the whole, capitalism channels selfishness in a direction that benefits civilization, not counting a few fat cats who have figured out how to game the system. You have the same paradox with personal energy. If you look at any individual action that boosts your personal energy, it might look like selfishness. Why are you going skiing when you should be working at the homeless shelter, you selfish bastard! My proposition is that organizing your life to optimize your personal energy will add up to something incredible that is more good than bad.
Scott Adams
Anja? What is to tell? Everywhere I look I'm seeing Anja... From my good eye, from my glass eye, if they're open or they're close, always I'm thinking on Anja.
Art Spiegelman
You can present the material, but you can't make me care.
Bill Watterson
I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.
Dr. Seuss
The bridge will only take you halfway there, to those mysterious lands you long to see. Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fair, and moonlit woods where unicorns run free. So come and walk awhile with me and share the twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known. But this bridge will only take you halfway there. The last few steps you have to take alone.
Shel Silverstein
What is an idea made of? Of future, past and also meanwhile.
Lynda Barry
One picture puzzle pieceLyin' on the sidewalk,One picture puzzle pieceSoakin' in the rain.It might be a button of blueOn the coat of the womanWho lived in a shoe.It might be a magical bean,Or a fold in the redVelvet robe of a queen.It might be the one little biteOf the apple her stepmotherGave to Snow White.It might be the veil of a brideOr a bottle with some evil genie inside.It might be a small tuft of hairOn the big bouncy bellyOf Bobo the Bear.It might be a bit of the cloakOf the Witch of the WestAs she melted to smoke.It might be a shadowy traceOf a tear that runs down an angel's face.Nothing has more possibilitiesThan one old wet picture puzzle piece.
Shel Silverstein
People are most vociferously opposed to those forces they have to resist more fiercely within themselves.
Tim Kreider
The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else. was to be indifferent to that difference.
Al Capp
From now on, I'm not doing anything I don't want to do! The world owes me happiness, fulfillment and success.... I'm just here to cash in.
Bill Watterson