Quotes by Cartoonists - Page 13

I have been a believer in the magic of language since, at a very early age, I discovered that some words got me into trouble and others got me out.
Katherine Dunn
I have always thought foreigners with their unusual skin colours, mad languages and ignorant customs absolutely hilarious, and I think it's a shame that in recent years its become unfashionable to poke fun at them. I certainly don't think they themselves ever minded it.
Arthur Mathews
Worry is absence of faith.
Paul Palnik
I meant what I said and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful one-hundred percent!
Dr. Seuss
That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.
Bill Watterson
Every time you look up at the stars, it’s like opening a door. You could be anyone, anywhere. You could be yourself at any moment in your life. You open that door and you realize you’re the same person under the same stars. Camping out in the backyard with your best friend, eleven years old. Sixteen, driving alone, stopping at the edge of the city, looking up at the same stars. Walking a wooded path, kissing in the moonlight, look up and you’re eleven again. Chasing cats in a tiny town, you’re eleven again, you’re sixteen again. You’re in a rowboat. You’re staring out the back of a car. Out here where the world begins and ends, it’s like nothing ever stops happening.
Bryan Lee O'Malley
The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and feels the warmth created by the quality of laughter that the audience takes home with it.
James Thurber
If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?
Bill Watterson
I remember having an argument with Alan, I said the Queen's not just going to call the guy up and send him out to do it. And Alan says, well, how would a monarch give orders to her assassin.
Eddie Campbell
I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.
Bill Watterson
Fame you'll be famous, as famous as can be, with everyone watching you win on TV, Except when they don't because sometimes they won't..
Dr. Seuss
But all the magic I have knownI've had to make myself.
Shel Silverstein
I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin
Bill Watterson
Freedom is not an individual effort.Yours comes only when you grant others theirs
Sergio Aragonés
It matters not what you fight but what you fight for.
David Petersen
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Dr. Seuss
The safe and cultural method of eating crackers in bed is to wear a diver's suit instead of pajamas.
Basil Wolverton
It is almost as thoughsomething else is breathingquite close by, invisibly.The mystery of the names…Albizzia. Gleditsia.Aucuba japonica. AndI am listening, seeing. Seeing,like someone twice alive.
John Allison
The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play. So we sat in the house. All that cold, cold, wet day.
Dr. Seuss
Ordinary people are products of their environment and fit in. Artists transcend their environment and stand out.
Oliver Gaspirtz
I'll be famous one day, but for now I'm stuck in middle school with a bunch of morons." - Greg Heffley,
Jeff Kinney
In his grief over the loss of a dog, a little boy stands for the first time on tiptoe, peering into the rueful morrow of manhood. After this most inconsolable of sorrows there is nothing life can do to him that he will not be able somehow to bear.
James Thurber
And sometimes I try to stop speculating the future out of existence, and other times I just lean back and run with it because maybe it's for the best.
Bryan Lee O'Malley
It's never ok to hit a girl. Never. Not even if she cheats on you. A girl is not your property. She's a human being. She is just as important as you. She is your equal. And her wishes and feelings are just as valid as yours. All you can do is treat her nice, and hope she wants to be with you. If she chooses to be with you, great! If not, or if she chooses to leave you at some point, you have to let her go. You have no right to stop her. You don't own her, and you don't have the right to tell her what to do. She's your partner. Not your servant, not your sex slave, and not your punching bag.
Oliver Markus
HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.
Bill Watterson
Ol' man Simon, planted a diamond. Grew hisself a garden the likes of none. Sprouts all growin' comin' up glowin' Fruit of jewels all shinin' in the sun. Colors of the rainbow. See the sun and the rain grow sapphires and rubies on ivory vines, Grapes of jade, just ripenin' in the shade, just ready for the squeezin' into green jade wine. Pure gold corn there, Blowin' in the warm air. Ol' crow nibblin' on the amnythyst seeds. In between the diamonds, Ol' man Simon crawls about pullin' out platinum weeds. Pink pearl berries, all you can carry, put 'em in a bushel and haul 'em into town. Up in the tree there's opal nuts and gold pears- Hurry quick, grab a stick and shake some down. Take a silver tater, emerald tomater, fresh plump coral melons. Hangin' in reach. Ol' man Simon, diggin' in his diamonds, stops and rests and dreams about one... real... peach.
Shel Silverstein
They (penguins) then fall madly in love and live happily ever after.-And so you ask yourself: "If a penguin can have a worthwhile, stimulating relationship, why the hell can't I?"-Or maybe you ask yourself: "Would I be happier if I started dating a penguin
Bradley Trevor Greive
You can't stop a man from stopping himself.
Brian Spellman
You're off to Great Places!Today is your day!Your mountain is waiting,So... get on your way!
Dr. Seuss
I had a dream about you last night... it was about a dreamer and a drifter walking into a bar. They start talking and swapping stories. No matter what the drifter says the dreamer always one-upped him. The drifter then woke up and realized he was the dreamer.
Marshall Ramsay
The people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind.
Dr. Seuss
The last word smelled of desperation,and the old lawyer sighed. 'I can tell you that the law is an ocean of darkness and truth, and that lawyers are but vessels on the surface. We may pull one rope or another, but it is the client, in the end, who charts the course.
John Hart
He who laughs last laughs ... doesn't get it.
Brian Spellman
What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely grow into successes.I can’t think of an example in my life. It’s generally true that if no one is excited about your art/product/idea in the beginning, they never will be. If the first commercial version of your work excites no one to action, it’s time to move on to something different. Don’t be fooled by the opinions of friends and family. They’re all liars.
Scott Adams
He always accuses me of trying to look'cool', I was like, 'everybody tries to look cool, I just happen to be successful.
Daniel Clowes
An oak tree and a rosebush grew,Young and green together,Talking the talk of growing things-Wind and water and weather.And while the rosebush sweetly bloomedThe oak tree grew so highThat now it spoke of newer things-Eagles, mountain peaks and sky."I guess you think you're pretty great,"The rose was heard to cry,Screaming as loud as it possibly couldTo the treetop in the sky."And now you have no time for flower talk,Now that you've grown so tall.""It's not so much that I've grown," said the tree,"It's just that you've stayed so small.
Shel Silverstein
Telescopes and bathyscapes and sonar probes of Scottish lakes, Tacoma Narrows bridge collapse explained with abstract phase-space maps, some x-ray slides, a music score, Minard's Napoleonic war: the most exciting new frontier is charting what's already here.
Randall Munroe
In the Book of Life, The answers aren't in the back.
Charles M. Schulz
Books like Twilight are not art. They are mass-produced crap that is meant to be consumed by the widest possible audience, for the largest possible profit.
Oliver Gaspirtz
If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
Charles M. Schulz
When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win!Conversations aren't contests!Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead.
Bill Watterson
Maxim 33:If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
Maxim 28: If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries
Howard Tayler
Creatures whose mainspring is curiosity enjoy the accumulating of facts far more than the pausing at times to reflect on those facts.
Clarence Day Jr.
Maybe your past isn't perfect. Maybe it was brutal. Maybe you were brutal. Maybe you've got more scars than you thought one skin could hold. You can't linger on those thoughts. You will drown in them. After all, it's only an interesting backstory if you can get past it.
Jessica Hagy
Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
Allen Saunders
A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.
Howard Tayler
If you are a dreamer come inIf you are a dreamer a wisher a liarA hoper a pray-er a magic-bean-buyerIf youre a pretender com sit by my fireFor we have some flax golden tales to spinCome in! Come in!
Shel Silverstein
If the mind fits, shrink it.
Brian Spellman
I always come here when I can't sleep [. . .] every night.
Faith Erin Hicks
Right now I've got just two rules to live by.Rule one: don't taunt elephants.Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.-Sergeant Schlock
Howard Tayler
The truth is, there are not two kinds of people. There's only one: the kind that loves to divide up into gangs who hate each other's guts.
Tim Kreider
The first casualty of war is casual wear.
Brian Spellman
If you call yourself an "authoress" on your Facebook profile, you suck at life. You are stupid and your children are ugly. It doesn't matter if you're just trying to be cute and original. You're not. You are about as original as all those other witless twits "writing" the one millionth shitty Fifty Shades clone. Or maybe you're trying to show your 2000 fake Facebook "friends" that you are an empowered feminist who will not stand for sexist terminology. But you're not showing people that you are fighting the good fight, you're showing people that you are a sheep, who's trying just a little too hard to ride the current wave of idiotic political correctness. The word "author" is no more gender-discrimination than the word "person." Do you call yourself a personess? No, of course not, because then you might as well wear a sign around your neck that says, "Hello, I'm a retard.
Oliver Markus
I think in the corridors of power these dangerous kinds of orders are issued in a much more vague way, passed down two or three levels of command before they're given to the assassin.
Eddie Campbell
Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
Jeff Kinney
The jewels of sorrow last forever
James Thurber
Just as a snowflakewent on to feed a puddle that filled a stream and then the river, thepumpkin patch is a gathering of molecules from my old goats, chickens,and cats, feeding the underworld of dirt creatures. And somewhere, myfather’s ashes mingle with birds, air, and sea.
Katherine Dunn
Your medical tests are in. You're short fat and bald.
Tom Wilson
For all his secrecy and fear of being seen, he was touched that we had observed him so closely, and with such love. He loved that we knew him. This is one reason people need to believe in God -- because we want someone to know us, truly, all the way through, even the worst of us.
Tim Kreider