Will Advise Quotes - Page 2

IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.

Everything is like a wall. Said a scholar to the troll. Bang your head to go on through. Then you'll see, there is no queue.

A heart is all that didn't get removed.

My grandpa, unlike Jarod Kintz, was an Elder. Now that he's dead and gone, he's a ghost French wizard. And no one knows what French wizards are good at…

To have the wisdom is rarely achieved by seeking the knowledge.

To storm, a mind, it must be balanced,by what can't be it must be challenged...

A river starts by longing for the ocean...

Having no applicable skills, in any possible area whatsoever, effectively makes me the master of redundancy. But that info is obsolete, like my insults dictionary, which I stole.

Nothing iseternal.Everything elseis not.

Eating pizza is like having a little heaven in your nose. Wait, that's not what you eat pizza with. I always get it confused with pizza-pie.

When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any.

If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels.

To truly accept a thing one must have no inner tension about it.

On building homes for fallen angels:When I was small - I sought a home,a place to go and rest my bones.Then founded something, of my own,I lived among the restless stones.If seeking leads you back to evil,what good is that, I asked a weevil.He said a home is what you make,it can't be real, if it is fake...And if you wait instead of seek,will you find love, or something bleak?I know (myself) for I have found,a beauty, hidden – in a sound.Waiting is boring.And so is exploring.A smile is sometimes all it takes.And then your whole world simply breaks.

To find true love simply one must just adore.

To find doesn't always require to search.

I'm an oracle of the past. I can accurately predict up to 1 minute in the future, by thoroughly investigating the last 2 years of your life. Also, I look like an old database – flat and full of useless info.

The realest of cats love with all of their being...

Translating from #cat is easy - you just ignore everything, then you decide what you want it to have said, thought, or wanted.

I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?

Someone. Everyone. Anyone. No-one. One. One can't be everyone, but there isn't more than one everyone, at the same time. And at the same time no-one can't be someone, but anyone can be one, and also anyone can be a no-one. To sum up - everyone is someone, and any-one becomes a no-one if you divide the one part long enough by every part of every-one, so in conclusion, I have no idea what I’m talking about, basically.

Whenever a river reaches the ocean, it waits to go back..

I'll catch any rose in my vase-shaped heart, then process it through my vascular system, until there's nothing left.

Backpackers can pack much more meows than baggers. Beggars never feed stray cats as street cats are self-sustaining.

Quinns always come at half price, about half the time, and half-naked, even during the colder half of winter. A Quinn is like a queen, but draggier, and cheaper to buy and use for personal gain, unless you’re suspicious that you’re poor and illiterate like Jarod Kintz, in which case Quinns could be the spirits of your dead relatives, come to haunt you until you gather a massive fortune through selling books on the internet, to send some back in time through a portal you bought from the NSA, so they would have lived better lives without having to move a finger for their fortune. Oh, yah, and since they aren’t - they’re blue, like smurfs, yet they turn purple whenever tickled on the belly, which is something they seem to rather dislike, since they start biting and scratching when it happens, for no good reason, I might add.

The love of one cat simply can't be compared with the love of another..

Why work today? I'll take Tuesday on, just like I took Monday off. That's just the kind of dedicated worker I am.

A smile is not to take, it's given.

Starlight is best felt at noon...

What's writ is what's read, yet the meaning is gone, since context is what gives each quote its own home.

I'm selling Jarod's life today. I mean virginity. He has no life. Email admin@allthegoodonesarealreadytaken.com for more information and please try to catch our special delivery at double-price deals, which will be posted somewhere on the internet at random, every other Tuesday, for half a night (on the previous day), unless it’s a Saturday, in which case you’ll have to wait and hope until the destined day comes and takes you away to heaven, which unfortunately, does not exist, except in the imagination of carefully selected individuals.

A river unneeded still finds its way down to the ocean...

In days long past, Jarod said he’d write a sentence about my love, translated in Russian, and that sentence, like my love, is clearly not for sale, unlike his virginity, or this book, which I’m both offering at ten times the market value, so hurry up and buy now, before it goes down.

To feel is to go to the places you were.

I fake fake to have a fake life. Does that make me a real horse? Buy now for $777, wooden saddle sold separately. Real horseshoes not included. Imaginary ones – neither.

I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet.

There's nothing as useful as the truth, in terms of ruining anyone's day, week, month, year, decade, or life… Unless, of course, you own a remotely operated automatic flamethrower-drone-tower and have some marinated pork-chops on your person, to lure unsuspecting dogs in close proximity to it, but since dogs don’t really have lives - by using this specific method of torture, you can only improve the remaining few seconds of their existence.

To share is just to align with a person.

The more you believe, the more you'll be leaving you, when what you believed turns out to be just lies. Or unjust lies. Or any lies, anyway.

Social networks are so full of wasted time - they could be compared to a waste disposal system. Flush, before you go and waste no time to go.

people decided that trees have no feelings

Wasting time on timing stuff is a good way to save time from being wasted on other pointless activities like writing, reading, and sleeping.

One must be a lotus to emerge from mucky waters clean.

As an evil cultist, I make an excellent evil cultist. Only I'm stupid, and not evil. And I worship nothing, really.

Home means always here...

If it's public, it's not bonding.

A relationship is a process. If you have nothing to learn - you have a slave to teach. 's why schools are effective.

If you have half a nothing - sell it for a double something, resell half at double-price, and buy another something and a half - how much nothing will you have two days from then? Like three. Because three is the short version of π, and π is involved in virtually anything, in some form, if you believe what the internet tells you.

Once a cat loves you, it loves you till the end.