W.S. Gilbert Quotes

Darwinian Man though well-behaved At best is only a monkey shaved!

Of that there is no manner of doubt - No probable possible shadow of doubt - No possible doubt whatever.

Now landsmen all whoever you may be If you want to rise to the top of the tree. If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool Be careful to be guided by this golden rule - Stick close to your desks and never go to to sea And you may all be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.

As innocent as a new-laid egg.

Things are seldom what they seem Skim milk masquerades as cream.

When every blessed thing you have is made of silver or of gold you long for simple pewter.

I always voted at my party's call And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

Oh, dry the glistening tear that dues that marshal cheekThy loving childern here in them thy comfort seek With sympathetic care their arms around the creep, For oh they can not bear to see their father weep

And the next day the gondolier came with a train of other gondoliers, all decked in their holiday garb, and on his gondola sat Angela, happy, and blushing at her happiness. Then he and she entered the house in which I dwelt, and came into my room (and it was strange indeed, after so many years of inversion, to see her with her head above her feet!), and then she wished me happiness and a speedy restoration to good health (which could never be); and I in broken words and with tears in my eyes, gave her the little silver crucifix that had stood by my bed or my table for so many years. And Angela took it reverently, and crossed herself, and kissed it, and so departed with her delighted husband.And as I heard the song of the gondoliers as they went their way--the song dying away in the distance as the shadows of the sundown closed around me--I felt that they were singing the requiem of the only love that had ever entered my heart.

You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself - and how little I deserve it.

If you wish in this world to advance Your merits you're bound to enhance You must stir it and stump it And blow your own trumpet Or trust me you haven't a chance.

And whether you're an honest man or whether you're a thief depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

My object all sublime I shall achieve in time - To let the punishment fit the crime.

You must stir it and stump it and blow your own trumpet or trust me you haven't a chance.

Did nothing in particular and did it very well.

Did nothing in particular And did it very well.

Oh I am a cook and a captain bold And the mate of the Nancy brig And a bo'sun tight and a midshipmate And the crew of the captain's gig.

A source of innocent merriment! Of innocent merriment.

No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have - and I think he's a dirty little beast.

He did nothing in particular And did it very well.

And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins Whom he reckons up by dozens And his aunts!

For he might have been a Rooshian A French or Turk or Proosian Or perhaps Italian. But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations He remains an Englishman.

See how the Fates their gifts allot. For A is happy - B is not. Yet B is worthy I dare say Of more prosperity than A.

I am not fond of uttering platitudes In stained-glass attitudes.

I am an acquired taste.

I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances.

Crushed again!

Perhaps if you address the lady Most politely most politely Flatter and impress the lady Most politely most politely Humbly beg and humbly sue She may deign to look on you.