Red Skelton Quotes

There are three ages of man: youth middle age and "Gee you look good."

Red Skelton

I've put on a lot of weight... I only weighed six and a half pounds when I was born.

Red Skelton

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Red Skelton

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

Red Skelton

I won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.

Red Skelton

I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.

Red Skelton

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.

Red Skelton