Josh Billings Quotes

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man without lowering him in his estimation and yours too.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

Don't mistake pleasures for happiness. They are a different breed of dog.

If you ever find happiness by hunting for it you will find it as the old woman did her lost spectacles safe on her nose all the time.

Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting things he has got.

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying.

It ain't so much trouble to get rich as it is to tell when we have got rich.

Nature never makes any blunders when she makes a fool she means it.

It is the little things that fret and worry us you can dodge an elephant but not a fly.

When a man gets talking about himself he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

The trouble ain't that people are ignorant: it's that they know so much that ain't so.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

Faith is the soul riding at anchor.

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient one too.

To bring up a child in the way he should go travel that way yourself once in a while.

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

There is one kind of laugh that I always did recommend; it looks out of the eye first with a merry twinkle, then it creeps down on its hands and knees and plays around the mouth like a pretty moth around the blaze of a candle, then it steals over into the dimples of the cheeks and rides around in those whirlpools for a while, then it lights up the whole face like the mellow bloom on a damask rose, then it swims up on the air, with a peal as clear and as happy as a dinner-bell, then it goes back again on gold tiptoes like an angel out for an airing, and it lies down on its little bed of violets in the heart where it came from.

the squeeky wheel gets the grease.

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

If it wasn't for faith there would be no living in this world we couldn't even eat hash with any safety.

As a general thing when a woman wears the pants in a family she has a good right to them.

My advice to those who are about to begin in earnest the journey of life is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.

It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall but to lie there and grunt is.

One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.

The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Pity costs nothing and ain't worth nothing.

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time.

It is not only the most difficult thing to know oneself but the most inconvenient too.

Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist - it reduces him to his fighting weight.

As scarce as truth is the supply has always been in excess of the demand.

Don't put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today.

Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself and then deliberately gets into.

Pity costs nothin' and ain't worth nothin'.

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.

Be like a postage stamp-stick to one thing until you get there.

Money will buy a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

Love looks through a telescope envy through a microscope.

Marrying for love may be a bit risky but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

When a man comes to me for advice I find out the kind of advice he wants and I give it to him.

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you do hold well.

There are people who are always anticipating trouble and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen.