Johnny Carson Quotes

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

If life was fair Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

Just be yourself -- it's the only way it can work.

I know a man who gave up smoking drinking sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.