Dear Max - You looked so beautiful today. I'm going to remember what you looked like forever.... And I hope you remember me the same way - clean, ha-ha. I'm glad our last time together was happy.But I'm leaving tonight, leaving the flock, and this time it's for good. I don't know if I'll ever see any of you again. The thing is, Max, that everyone is a little bit right. Added up all together, it makes this one big right.Dylan's a little bit right about how my being here might be putting the rest of you in danger. The threat might have been just about Dr. Hans, but we don't know that for sure. Angel is a little bit right about how splitting up the flock will help all of us survive. And the rest of the flock is a little bit right about how when you and I are together, we're focused on each other - we can't help it.The thing is, Maximum, I love you. I can't help but be focused on you when we're together. If you're in the room, I want to be next to you. If you're gone, I think about you. You're the one who I want to talk to. In a fight, I want you at my back. When we're together, the sun is shining. When we're apart, everything is in shades of gray.I hope you'll forgive me someday for turning our worlds into shades of gray - at least for a while....You're not at your best when you're focused on me. I mean, you're at your best Maxness, but not your best leaderness. I mostly need Maxness. The flock mostly needs leaderness. And Angel, if you're listening to this, it ain't you, sweetie. Not yet....At least for a couple more years, the flock needs a leader to survive, no matter how capable everyone thinks he or she is. The truth is that they do need a leader, and the truth is that you are the best leader. It's one of the things I love about you.But the more I thought about it, the more sure I got that this is the right thing to do. Maybe not for you, or for me, but for all of us together, our flock.Please don't try to find me. This is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, besides wearing that suit today, and seeing you again will only make it harder. You'd ask me to come back, and I would, because I can't say no to you. But all the same problems would still be there, and I'd end up leaving again, and then we'd have to go through this all over again.Please make us only go through this once....I love you. I love your smile, your snarl, your grin, your face when you're sleeping. I love your hair streaming out behind you as we fly, with the sunlight making it shine, if it doesn't have too much mud or blood in it. I love seeing your wings spreading out, white and brown and tan and speckled, and the tiny, downy feathers right at the top of your shoulders. I love your eyes, whether they're cold or calculating or suspicious or laughing or warm, like when you look at me....You're the best warrior I know, the best leader. You're the most comforting mom we've ever had. You're the biggest goofball, the worst driver, and a truly lousy cook. You've kept us safe and provided for us, in good times and bad. You're my best friend, my first and only love, and the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, with wings or without....Tell you what, sweetie: If in twenty years we haven't expired yet, and the world is still more or less in one piece, I'll meet you at the top of that cliff where we first met the hawks and learned to fly with them. You know the one. Twenty years from today, if I'm alive, I'll be there, waiting for you. You can bet on it.Good-bye, my love.FangP.S. Tell everyone I sure will miss them
Oh, look, the lights are so pretty,” I said dreamily, having just noticedthem.I smiled at the way the lights were dancing overhead, pink and yellow andblue. I felt some pressure on my arm and thought, I should look over and seewhat’s going on, but then the thought was gone, sliding away like Jell-O off ahot car hood.“Fang?”“Yeah. I’m here.”I struggled to focus on him. “I’m so glad you’re here.”“Yeah, I got that.”“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I peered up at him, trying to seepast the too-bright lights.“You’d be fine,” he muttered.“No,” I said, suddenly struck by how unfine I would be. “I would be totallyunfine. Totally.” It seemed very urgent that he understand this.Again I felt some tugging on my arm, and I really wondered what that wasabout. Was Ella’s mom going to start this procedure any time soon?“It’s okay. Just relax.” He sounded stiff and nervous. “Just...relax. Don’ttry to talk.”“I don’t want my chip anymore,” I explained groggily, then frowned.“Actually, I never wanted that chip.”“Okay,” said Fang. “We’re taking it out.”“I just want you to hold my hand.”“I am holding your hand.”“Oh. I knew that.” I drifted off for a few minutes, barely aware ofanything, but feeling Fang’s hand still in mine.“Do you have a La-Z-Boy somewhere?” I roused myself to ask, every word aneffort.“Um, no,” said Ella’s voice, somewhere behind my head.“I think I would like a La-Z-Boy,” I mused, letting my eyes drift shutagain. “Fang, don’t go anywhere.”“I won’t. I’m here.”“Okay. I need you here. Don’t leave me.”“I won’t.”“Fang, Fang, Fang,” I murmured, overwhelmed with emotion. “I love you. Ilove you sooo much.” I tried to hold out my arms to show how much, but Icouldn’t move them.“Oh, jeez,” Fang said, sounding strangled.