Henny Youngman Quotes

Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.

You can't buy love but you can pay heavily for it.

My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him.

I don't fly on account of my religion. I'm a devout coward.

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.