Bill Watterson Quotes - Page 2

Specifically, I’d like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it’s less wasteful.

Calvin:"It says here that 'religion is the opiate of the masses.'...what do you suppose that means?"Television: "...it means that Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that's even worse

HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!

CALVIN:As usual goodness hardly puts up a fight.

Hold it. You know what I'd like to see? I'd like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?

Until you stalk and overrun, you cannot devour anyone.-Hobbes

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

If good things lasted forever, would we appreciate how precious they are?

I wonder if you can refuse to inherit the world.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.-Calvin

HOBBES:If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

When a person pauses in mid-sentence to choose a word, that's the best time to jump in and change the subject! It's like an interception in football! You grab the others guy's idea and run the opposite way with it! The more sentences you complete, the higher your score! The idea is to block the other guy's thoughts and express your own! That's how you win!Conversations aren't contests!Ok, a point for you, but I'm still ahead.

We don't value craftsmanship anymore! All we value is ruthless efficiency, and I say we deny our own humanity that way! Without appreciation for grace and beauty, there's no pleasure in creating things and no pleasure in having them! Our lives are made drearier, rather than richer! How can a person take pride in his work when skill and care are considered luxuries! We're not machines! We have a human need for craftsmanship!

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom?Mom: I'm cutting up an onion.Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

You can make your superhero a psychopath, you can draw gut-splattering violence, and you can call it a "graphic novel," but comic books are still incredibly stupid.

Happiness is being famous for your financial ability to indulge in every kind of excess.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.

CALVIN:When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

CALVIN:Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.