Carl Hiaasen Quotes

He paused and manufactured a chuckle.

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling mind cluttered by contemplation, and never at all by somber worry; every day was a romp. What else could there possibly be to life? Eating was a thrill. Pissing was a treat. Shitting was a joy. And licking your own balls? Bliss. And everywhere you went were gullible humans who patted and hugged and fussed over you.

My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains. He also says there are times when you've got no choice but to defend yourself from common morons.

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.

The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train.

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence.

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.