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He wrote arguments for and against life; he began to think the slowest and most painful form of suicide was living, running the whole decathlon of suffering, no breather or bottled water. Fear of dying was irrational. Death was utilitarian. Decrease in net resource consumption and planetary suffering. Increase in net comedy. There was no afterlife but there was a right-before-death, and medical research said it was loopy and nice, all white lights and gentle voices. With booze it wasn’t even scary. Some people with terrible lives didn’t kill themselves, but that didn’t mean they shouldn’t. Most people weren’t alive and didn’t mind. You couldn’t regret it.